3. You walk out of the house so zombified you only have half of your eye makeup on. ‘Oh yeah, I have two eyes right?’
4. Christmas is no longer pure ‘fun’. It’s downright, freakin’ expensive.
5. The smell of crap no longer makes you dry heave.
6. You hear yourself saying something your own mother once did. ‘Sit down and eat or you won’t get up until you do. I don’t care if it takes all night!’
7. When the bar of soap is now in your hands. What ya gonna do with it? 😆 Heck, if I said darn or fart I got the bar down my throat. I can’t do that, my kids wouldn’t be able to speak permanently. Just kidding. Well, kind of.
8. When you want that designer dress really, really bad, but you forfeit and come home with diapers and baby food instead.
9. When an occasional glass of wine becomes more therapeutic then a friendly therapist. Maybe even a prescribing shrink!
10. When the ‘time out’ gets reincarnated.
11. When you write down every little ‘stat.’ Weight, height, milestone, number of teeth..hopefully without getting your flesh bitten into as you proceed with the ‘count’.
12. When you no longer recognize the back seat of your car.
13. When a cup of coffee has become your new best friend.
14. When the laundry basket seemingly has no bottom. You keep reaching in, and more clothes just keep being pulled out, much like a traditional magic trick.
15. When homework once again makes you go, ‘Oh man.’ Blast from the past baby! (The long ago past in my case.) I don’t even remember this sh&t!
16. When you can’t find one damn sharpened pencil in the entire house when it comes time to do the homework.
17. When your dishpan hands resemble the look of your great, great grandmother Hilda.
18. ‘Sex? Seriously? Not tonight. I’ll make it up to you. Can’t say tomorrow, but I will make it up to you.’
19. When silence in your car ceases to exist. Say goodbye to that quiet ride. (At least without duct tape. Oh yeah, that’s illegal 😉 .)
20. When a heavy-duty, underwire bra, is also a best pal of yours.
21. When you get Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from repetitively cleaning out and sterilizing truckloads of baby bottles. (You multiple mommies can especially relate.) The feeling comes back to your hands eventually. Don’t be frightened.
22. When your life as you once knew it, has taken a complete and drastic turn, but despite all the madness you still wouldn’t have it any other way.
As the commercial says, ‘Having a baby changes everything.’ Having two or three at a time, even more so, but it’s always a blessing. The smiles and memories well make up for the shot nerves and hair loss. Just kidding. (Hair doesn’t ALWAYS fall out 😆 .)
Happy holidays everybody!
‘Tis the season to be…
P.S. – Come & watch what Allie was doing with mommy’s lipstick! This happens to:). *CUTE*.