When Do Things Get Easier With Twins? Updated At 5 Years & 8 Months Old
My little girly-girls are 5 years, 8 months, 1 week & 1 day old.
**I will be sharing cute pictures from over the past 8 months to provide hope to those in need of some right now :-D.**
I feel it is my duty as a twin mom and a mommy blogger to update my loyal readers, both new and old, about this topic that EVERYBODY wants to know about when it comes to multiples. When do things with twins get easier? (This is my 3rd post about this since my own twins’ birth. You can click to read those below if you wish.)
Now I do agree that things do change so much that they aren’t always easier per say, just quite different. I mean you see these changes so easily during the 1st year or two of life when major milestones are reached and growth is fast and steady. You blink and 2 inches and 10 lbs. go by. And then you see big changes again at around 3 or so when true personalities develop. For some a bit later than others. (Can be closer to 3 and 1/2- 4.)
All kids have personality traits from almost birth on, but they can easily change and shock you if you try and guess their life-long demeanors at too early of an age. Like I have said before, twin moms told me they could and likely would switch on me, and they absolutely were correct. I didn’t believe them :lol:.
Annie had something that I call ‘late onset colic’ that was horrible, but see we made it through. I made up that term since there truly isn’t any record of it, but it happened to us, so let me be the first to admit to it and spread the knowledge so that if anybody is reading this and experiencing something similar, they know they aren’t alone. It may be rare, but it’s out there. There are occasions where you may think you are out of the woods with certain things and then it’s relapse time. Especially during the first few years of life. (Birth-2 most specifically, but again, every child is different.)
My twins became COMPLETELY set in their ways, I would say around 3 or so. Maybe closer to 3 and 1/2. My once sweet Allie overnight became my tougher twin. My little spitfire with a ‘tude that has only developed further over time. And my once cranky, non-affectionate Annie-bug became a caring, compassionate all-around sweetheart. She used to be the ‘bully baby’, but the tides did turn. Things have remained 99% the same, and here we are 5 years and 8 months old (I can’t believe it) and we’re all still alive and kicking.
So, to bring this all down to a simmer here, have things gotten easier with twins now? I will say YES. They definitely have. My 10 year old is a much bigger challenge. (Is 10 the new 15?) I would be very afraid of the twins come her age, but I think with each other to lean on and draw knowledge from, to confide in, life and puberty, etc. might be a bit easier on twins and for twins than it is for singletons, more especially same sex pairs, but I digress.
Why do I think things are easier now?
Well, I used to feel more like a referee than a mother. It used to pain me to see them fight so much and share very little bonding time. It was more like an almost constant boxing match, honestly. People said to hang on and I did. Those people were right. (Do note – not all twins are AS physical as were mine.) Do they still fight? Yeah, but nothing like it once was, and nobody gets hurt physically anymore (on purpose). They have definitely matured, and they have found common ground to build on where they can share with each other, explore their similar interests and they definitely do interact in a much more pleasant and very often amusing and heart-warming way. It’s such a pleasure to watch.
I know that in the grand scheme of things, if not already, they will be the best of friends. The older sister definitely pulls them apart sometimes which hurts me. If things were different, I am sure they’d even be closer and bigger BFF’S than they are right now, but this to will pass. I think she gets jealous of the twin relationship, so I try my best to be like her twin, friend and mom. (Not easy!) And I do special things with her, but she’s a needy child that is VERY hard to please, so if you don’t have one of those, life with twins will be almost a cake walk at 5 years of age in comparison.
I will admit that I enjoyed the 1st year of life, but I enjoy babies in general. I enjoy feeling wanted and needed, taking care of others and keeping my brain continuously busy so I don’t over-think and worry, which is my pitfall in life. They kept me so busy, and it was so much fun going out and everybody going crazy over them (for the most part), that I did NOT think that newborn stage, or even thereafter.. the 1st year, was the really hard part. It was definitely after that. (Take note I did have my husband home for 7 weeks after the birth to help out. We made an excellent team, but this is not true of everybody. And I did get some sleep with his help, thereafter.)
When twins are too young to speak or speak clearly and cannot get their verbal wishes through to mom and dad it frustrates them greatly. That makes life hard for awhile and may lead to tantrums in some children. (Hopefully only one in a twin set) but regardless, trust me, the phases and stages come and go so fast, you will survive it, look back, and you WILL smile. The find will stick out most over time. This I promise. You will miss, even the harder times, more than you can imagine you would (or ever could).
Things are easier now at 5 with them because they are totally little people. I can sit back and know that though there are still dangers around them in the world, they can climb stairs without worry, eat all by themselves of course with WAY less mess. There is less cleaning and spills then there was when coordination was lacking. They can sit for far longer periods of time in contentment. They do entertain each other. With my singleton I was her only source of entertainment, as her brother was 9.5 years her senior and had his own friends, etc. by the time she was born. And he was also always heavy into sports and very busy with them, so I had to do what I had to do. It did feel constant. With twins they do watch TV together now. Do they EVER argue about what to watch? Sometimes, but it certainly isn’t any major issue. (And there’s no blood shed.) There is always one twin that is more selfless than selfish than the other, and will bow down a bit more. (THANK GOD :lol:.)
They are more independent. They can VERY easily tell me what they want, and there are many more things they can do on their own for themselves and for each other than in years gone by. There is less worry about their safety at the park and in other places. I never used to be able to sit down and relax. I was GO-GO-GO! Now I can enjoy sitting on a bench and just enjoying the view. I feel much less burnt out. (I will admit though, it was terrific exercise for me.)
Of course, now that they are going to school full-time things are easier with less hours of the day to contend with, but to be frank, I do look forward to weekends and holidays. I was so used to taking them places all of the time, places that a grown person cannot go to alone. I do get a bit lonely, but it is a breather, and it definitely makes things easier on parents that really need time to get SOMETHING done. There really wasn’t any time before.
They have very regular sleep patterns now, which helps us keep more regular sleep patterns for ourselves as well. Do they ever wake up from a bad dream on occasion? Yeah, but it used to be nights of up and down, and I’m not talking at 0-1, I’m talking about 3 years old. (Mine were NOT good sleepers till late. Now they do better, so everybody is better rested, which is a great asset to them and to us. It helps make life easier A LOT.) Don’t be afraid if you are pregnant now. I hear a lot of twin moms swearing that their duo slept through the night at 2 or 3 months and have been rock solid ever since. I secretly loathe those moms :lol:.
So in conclusion, yes things are different, but also yes things have gotten easier. I’m sure there are more reasons why that is than I can think of right now, just hang in there if you are still in the thick of it. The light at the tunnel will shine through, at least at the age I am at with Annie & Allie right now. I will update on this post in about a year or year and 1/2 from now. They may be more cunning and able now. But it truly doesn’t trump the hardships of the other stages of twin-life!
If you would like to read my former post of when I talked about this very topic when my twins were 3 months of age (how much did I know then 😆 ?) And again when they were 3 years old. Just click the pink links. When will life with twins get easier?
Hang in there! For some twin pairs you may not find relief until 4 or so, but even 4.. 5 is definitely better. Do you agree, disagree, have your own thoughts on the subject? Comment below and take the poll. Do explain your answer if you can, so others can know why you feel as you do. Just a sentence is fine. If you forgot, that’s OK to!