Welcome to Twinpossible: 8 Wks. Pregnant! Post #1
8 wks Pregnant! ’IT CAN’T BE!’
Mood: SHOCK, SHOCK, & MORE SHOCK
WOW, it’s been over 4 yrs now, since I started my pregnancy diary for my sweet, little daughter, Mikayla. I didn’t know I’d be back in such a BIG way, but alas here I am. I found out less then 3 wks ago, I have two sacs in my tummy, and my jaw nearly hit the floor. Then we saw two heartbeats, a week ago..could it be TRUE? Apparently it is…TWINS, but it’s still so much to take in, as of now. I have wanted to laugh, and to cry, and to laugh and to cry again, but basically feel all in all, slightly numb. I love children, and I know these babies will be loved beyond measure, I just couldn’t be more frightened at this moment, in all honesty. I feel some guilt that I’m not jumping up and down with excitement, but I’m reading a lot online and finding out, most twin mommies experience this twin shock, so I don’t feel too horrible about it, guess it will just take some time to adjust. I’m just sitting here scratching my head, and wondering, what were the odds?
Freaks me out so much to think of all the risks involved with twins, that you read about. Premature labor, increased risk of miscarriage, placental abruption, other complications, the fact that I have lost a child, weighs EXTREMELY heavily on my mind, knowing I could not bare to lose another, plus where am I supposed to carry them? I’m not a big girl to start with, and nearly popped with my last. or so it felt, so what if my body can’t hold them in when my uterus reaches full size? I just don’t know, but I’m praying God knows what he’s doing, and keeps me close in his sight, because I definitely need him for support and guidance right now.
My husband is very shocked as well, but dealing…I THINK. I guess because he’s not carrying them, ha ha, I’d be easier for me to, if I were the man, but I don’t want to pretend there is nothing on his shoulders, of course there is a lot to think about, $, job security, so I know, he’s not without concerns himself. He’s not talking much about it, but honestly, I don’t know what to say myself, just a bit stunned. I know one day we will look back with our kids, the whole lot of them, and say we could not picture things any other way, but for now, it’s a lot of news to handle, and a lot of worries involved. I know God makes no mistakes, so I hope he keeps me safe, and sane through all of this.
Anyway, Right now the babies are just baby A and baby B, and are like grains of rice.. We haven’t gone near the name issue yet of course, but my mind is always thinking (Aren’t all girls?). Guess I don’t want to over think on certain things right now though, because even the Dr. told me, the vanishing twin syndrome occurs quite frequently with multiple pregnancies like this, before the 12 wk. mark, so anything can still happen, so I guess I will play this by ear, one ultrasound at a time. In the end, I know what is meant to be, is what is going to happen, I just can’t stop shaking. TWINS!!!! HOLY SMOKES! You should have seen hubby’s face at the ultrasound, it was priceless. It was fear taken to a completely new level. Hopefully soon the twin shock will wear off us both, until then, I guess I will just start saving up for diapers. who am I kidding, I’m not one to be able to save a penny, with my insane shopping addiction, I sure hope I can learn to curb that. Looks like I may have no choice, but it’s been 34 years in the making. Where oh where, is that big lotto win, when you need one?! Maybe I should go and play:)
But anyhow, as far as me, I’m definitely popping out more already, in the belly, welp my uterus is twice the size, so how could I not be? Ok maybe not twice the size, but my dr. could feel it in my belly already, so it’s measuring ahead for sure. I know that early on, there is a lot of bloat involved in the bulging tummy, but I assume I’ll be getting much bigger then with my singletons, which is kind of scary to think about, because I just do not believe I can stretch any further then that, guess the days of being stretch mark free are over, ha, I mean I can’t even hope for that, just seems impossible with two, but I digress, don’t wanna think about all of that fluffy stuff right now, I have plenty of time for that later, for now, I just gotto practice breathing normally again!!
As for how I have been feeling physically, I have been having some morning sickness, all day long actually, but it’s actually a bit better, then it was at the very start, (knock on wood), but the gas pain, and tiredness are really overwhelming. The boobs have grown this week, I think I’m up a cup size already. If that would stick around, I’d be thrilled for it, but…I know all too well, the increase never stays, wahhhh . but the boobs, they are so sore right now, I wish I could just lop them off of my body, but that doesn’t last for long.
I cannot help but wonder what is going on inside of me? Do I have a baby girl and a boy, two girls, two boys? I’m likely opting for the early CVS test. I’ll be close enough to 35 when I deliver for me to worry, and I’d like to know the health of the babies, as far as chromosomal defects, as blood tests are not really reliable in twins, and having twins means more worry for those diseases, so best to be safe then sorry. I heard it’s not a fun test, needles through the belly…OUCHIE, but it should help put my mind at ease, and also a bonus, I’ll get to know, super early pink or blue or both:) I’m thinking both, (one of each), but only time will tell, I just believe knowledge is power, and to have that, and be able to know what I am facing, is very important to me, so I’m sure I’ll be doing that test.
Mikayla is now a beautiful 4 yr old, ‘diva princess’, and is doing GREAT! She’s soo smart and clever, she puts any other child her age to absolute shame, and I I am not just saying that because she is mine, I sware. She is my best pal, my ‘lil buddy’…we adore her. Full of energy and insanity, , but we are so happy, she makes us smile and laugh aloud, at every turn. I can’t imagine how two younger siblings will affect her, especially at first, I mean she says all the time, she wants a baby sister like crazy, (though gender I cannot guarantee of course:), but had only just turned 4 yrs old, I don’t know if she can know what she wants, I mean completely, and yes long run, it’s better for her, but at first, and x’s two is going to be a toughie, but again, I’m over thinking too soon, gotto play it all by ear.
Welp, I’ll be sharing belly pics again, see how they compare to last time..Oh gosh *shock*. Be back soon:)