WARNING: TWIN MOM..RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! (Humorous.) A Multiple Mommy Must Read.
WARNING: TWIN MOM..RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! (Humorous.)
A Multiple Mommy Must Read.
My feisty duo is 25 mo. & 1.75 weeks old.
I have twins..don’t mess with me!
Don’t park near me or I’ll hit your doors.
Super close parkers on both sides, expect possible dings and scratches if you don’t comply. I’m not a mini-van mama just yet. Keep away from the vehicle, or else!
Don’t annoy me because if you catch the wrong mood you just might hit the floor.
Don’t bother asking me what I’m doing tonight because the answer will always be..SLEEPING…(I PRAY!!!!)
Don’t ask me if I saw a certain TV show or movie yesterday. Unless it’s on Nick Jr. or The Disney Channel you can safely assume I have not.
Don’t ask me if I’m tired because I always am.
Don’t ask me if I planned my twins because while a chaotic but undeniable blessing now there is no way I’d ever plan this. DUH!
(Though my parents always did say I seem to like doing things the hard way .)
Don’t dare say double trouble. With the amount of times I have heard that one, you might just get some double trouble yourself.
Don’t ask me if I need any help. Yes, of course I do.
Don’t ask me if I have been inseminated or have had IVF. I may start asking you about your last gynecological exam. Would you like that one?
”How did that yeast infection clear up for ya? Nice and fast? Wait, that’s right.. I don’t know you. I don’t want to know about what’s happened inside of your vagina and you don’t need to know what’s happened inside of mine.” .
Don’t ask me why there are bags under my eyes. Isn’t it obvious? Think I had time to lie down with cucumber slices under my eyes?
Don’t ask me if my twins are identical. You’d have to be dead drunk and seeing double to even ask such a stupid question.
Don’t ask if my husband and I will have more babies, especially in front of him.
He has high blood pressure. I’d rather have him alive than have his life insurance policy, thanks.
Don’t say ”Oh, I love twins if you ever need any help give me a call.” I’ll be at your house in under 20 seconds, diaper bag in hand.
Don’t ask me if one twin is better then the other. They take turns playing Beelzebub .
(Just kidding…well partly . MAYBE. Slightly. Maybe not .)
Finally, don’t sit and gab to me about every twin in your family and every twin you have ever known.
I have 20 minutes to run 15 errands, feed the babies, attempt to put them down for a nap, clean up the bathroom, and try and take a breath somewhere in the middle. We can chat when I have a nanny by my side which will be only in my dreams. See ya there .
Recognize her ? She’s the woman in all of us! (He, he.)
Twin moms…got any warnings for others?
(YES, this is just for silly fun! I’m most always nice despite the agitation. Just a little weekend humor! Some are true though.)