Things Nobody Tells A Twin Mom But They Should: The Practical & Humorous Side Of Twin Motherhood
Things Nobody Tells A Twin Mom But They Should: The Practical & Humorous Side Of Twin Motherhood
My funny monkeys are 5 years, 5 months & 4 days old.
1) For awhile you (and they) will get messy so do go practical!
Don’t bother putting on any fancy, pricey or even clean blouses or tops while feeding and burping newborn twins. Double the pleasure, double the blah (AKA spit up.) Staying perfectly clean all day with twins of any age really just isn’t an option. Save your money for a great wardrobe once they are in school full-time at least.
Oh, and this extends to the twins themselves. Putting $100 outfits on two new babies is like going on a kamikaze mission. No one will survive, so do not bother until they are older. (If you even have any extra money by then.) Waiting for that one spit up to come up and out and suck all of your money away in an instant isn’t a fun thing. You will need that cash for more important things. Save luxury items for down the line unless you want to throw them out in 2 hours when your adorable twins Ralph, and the stains don’t want to completely come out. Cheap sleepers, lots of onesies, you get what I’m saying.
2) Block out the bull sh&^!
If you take to heart everything that even strangers say to you, or if you listen to the advice that everybody around you says, be it a stranger, family member or other nosey person, you are going to have two very confused babies and not much sanity left in your brain. Never let what other’s say affect you, as you are not a 2 year old! You are a big girl and now a multiple mommy. You’ve got this all by yourself. Mom’s judgement is always the best for her OWN children!
3) Always be fully prepared.
Carry a lot of extra diapers (and clothing in case) when you take your little twins out.
(You will be running out to buy diapers at some point while out for the day. Hide some in the car to avoid this.. SERIOUSLY!)
One newborn goes through a lot of diapers, imagine two of them. Now that I have done two, I try to imagine three of them. (YIKES, that diaper bag must hurt and bust at the seams by that point.) But there will be lots of wet diapers, lots of blow outs (I like to call them), you’ll need PLENTY of wipes around to clean up baby bottoms and your own hands. Don’t forget that all important diaper rash cream to prevent tiny tears.
Bring a couple of extra changes of weather appropriate clothing, as some blow outs prove lethal to current ensembles. You wouldn’t want to come home early from somewhere special because of soiled ‘leaked through’ bottoms. For a full list of what you should have in a twin mom’s diaper bag for two click the pink link.
4) It takes 9 months to make one baby so give yourself 9 months to get back at least, but with two…
Nobody really tells you, but you are hearing it here. Though some are the quote un quote ‘lucky ones’ I believe that if women are given that 9 month buffer for 1 baby, as far as getting their body back after baby or just losing weight and fitting in the old clothing again, which is absolutely fair. So then shouldn’t double that amount of time be kosher for twins? 1+1=2 babies. 9+9=18 months. A twin recovery is harder. You grow larger and faster and get way over-stretched. Don’t let people make you feel like because with your singleton you bounced back faster so why not now? Let them try it. It isn’t easy. But as I have shown it is NOT Twinpossible. Be forgiving of your own self and be patient. Can the naysayers, and love who you are. Things will get better.
5) Twins make your back hurt! Wear some back support or at least get out for a massage or something.
Like I have called it before (MOTBS – Mother of Twins Back Syndrome.) My back never hurt so much as it did that 1st year+ of twin life. Constant bending, constant holding, putting one baby down picking one baby up, constant feedings and getting twins down for naps and for bedtime. It definitely takes its toll.
My arms were SO buff without any weights needed. People were always commenting on them, but I didn’t ever work them out.They still are more buff than they should be, but my twins don’t want to be held too much at 5 now, so they need a little maintenance to avoid the ‘hang’ underneath at my age. I still use my arms a lot throughout the day, but back then I just remember aching arms and a very achy lower back. While belly binding it did provide a lot of relief from the back pain during wear and also protected my softened core until it was 100% back to normal again. You may wish to try one. A massage is a VERY rare treat for a mom of multiples, but who deserves it more? If you’re game then I’m game to.
6) Just because you have twins they won’t do everything at the same time so get ready for a ride.
They don’t usually travel in the same direction (very rarely actually) once they start cruising along, which can be scary in the beginning of the walking stage. Oh yes, I remember it well. They won’t always sleep at the same time, start reaching milestones at the same time, which can worry you, but it is totally normal.. don’t fret. They may not be awake and hungry at the same time either, but do your best with the whole schedule thing. Feeding one twin baby AND the other even when he or she is sleeping is the smartest way to go. They will still suck and take in milk or formula. This helps promote longer sleeping stretches in newborns. That means more rested, more sane parents. Save the crazies for the teenage years 👿 .
7) Sibling rivalry will start much sooner so brace yourself.
Same age, same time, same interests, same toys around. There’s bound to be some trouble. I buy two of the really interesting stuff most times, but when it comes to the TV remote? Forget about it. Sometimes all hell breaks loose during morning cartoon time. My twins are at this stage where they want to play race, whether on foot or on skates, and compete against each other CONSTANTLY to win. They want to be the 1st to slide down the slide or even hop into their car seats. It’s normal twin behavior. Not all moments are holding hands and skipping through the meadows. Nobody warns you, but there are some VERY good times to, I swear.
Pleasing everybody and making sure you give all you can, not just toys of course, but your attention and love is SUPER important to avoid bad or hurt feelings and prevent sad little faces, though you aren’t perfect. You do your best to please everybody, but if you have other kids on top of multiples like I do, holy smokes! It is hard I know, but do your best, show love and give praise and somewhere in the middle of it all don’t forget to breathe. (And to bathe to :lol:.)
8 ) Parental expectations should be different for multiples.
1) Two children survived the day without a one landing in the emergency room. (Check plus.)
2) Two children are safely in bed at night and in one, full piece. (Maybe there’s a ban-daid or two on, but still in one piece. (Daily goal accomplished).
3) Two children are happily fed and smiling up at you looking completely contented. (Revel in it.)
4) The house is still standing. Nobody bulldozed it enough to tear it down and it hasn’t caught on fire. (Awesome parenting!)
5) You didn’t lose anybody throughout the course of the day. You returned home possessing the two correct children. No switcheroos. (GO MOM!)
There are only 24 hours in a day and they pass by even faster with twins in tow because you are so busy. So you didn’t write a book, finish a screen play, get those unused clothes up on eBay, reline the kitchen cabinets or remember to take a pee yourself today. You have twins that are safe and happy, and THAT in and of itself is a major accomplishment for any and every day!
9) You may develop Carpal Tunnel Syndrome
I remember those early days so well. My back hurt but so did my hands, wrists, lower arms. Repetitive actions done like every 10 seconds, or so it seems at first, can do a number on your body in places that you wouldn’t think about before they start aching. You will be cleaning and sterilizing more bottles than you could ever possibly imagine in one day. That is unless you are breastfeeding, which does save both time and money. Hats off to you. I just couldn’t do it, but I don’t feel bad about. It is harder with twins, yet not an impossible feat.
Feedings so frequently, even if done with babies in boppy pillows, they can’t hold their own bottles for a long while yet, and propping up bottles once in awhile isn’t enough to help make the pain cease. Even with hub’s help I had the pain bad early on. I think if I did it all 100% alone my wrists would have just fallen off. I remember blogging back then and typing was so painful. Rest not just your mind but your body whenever you can to find time for some relief. This isn’t forever. That I assure you.
10) You next vacation will be….
In about 20 years. Just kidding, but it will be awhile. Your idea of a vacation actually changes with twins. To me, 10 minutes alone in the bathroom without a hand or more under the door, banging on the outside, screaming that they have to pee or poo when I gave ample notice right beforehand and nobody had to go – THAT has become my idea of a vacation over the past 2 and 1/2 years since potty training has been accomplished.
My husband would say that his vacation is running out to get a burger and NOT coming home to eat it. He will sit in the parking lot and eat somewhere in peace before returning to the madness. There is much to be said about short, well-deserved breaks, but Disney World? One sweet day I hope. I predict chaos, but I’m finally starting to be willing to take that gamble :lol:. I haven’t been anywhere in too damn long.
11) Your next sexual encounter will be…
SCHEDULED! It takes awhile to get the chance to sneak out for some ‘before twins‘ lovin’. You may find yourself like a teenager in the back seat of the car, but heck.. we do what we have to do around here or it ALL becomes scheduled sex, which is quite normal with small children. Twins definitely DO compound this. You aren’t abnormal. You and your partner are completely normal.
Try to spice things up whenever you can to make things more interesting, but know that loud moans will be silenced (in my case with a hand or a pillow sometimes.) No he’s not trying to kill me- just shut me up. You need to remember to lock the doors ALWAYS and be prepared to come up with a white lie if somebody comes around asking what you all are doing in there. This won’t last forever. Get out and get wild when you can. Go to a motel once in awhile if you can, and go at it like rabbits. You are still a sexual being even if you are a mom. Sex is important to. Don’t ever let it fully slip away like it easily can when frustrated, exhausted, frazzled, feeling depleted, etc. Fight for it. Orgasms reduce stress. Who couldn’t use more of those with multiples (or kids in general)?
12) Your next sexy dress will be…
spit up on.
13) Your next venture out with your twins will..
take ten times as long because of inquisitive and often wacky strangers stopping you everywhere. And you’ll get done only 1/2 of what you planned and even actually remembered to get done by that point.
14) Sleep is for…
wimps! You are a super hero, super mom so you’ll live up to that name for awhile. Brace yourself! IF you are lucky enough to be able to sleep when your babies do, which I cannot do.. DO IT!
15) The remote control will…
never be yours again 😛 .
16) Your next argument will be about:
1) Strained peas being left uncovered in the fridge.
2) Whose turn is it to sterilize the bottles.
3) Bitterness to whomever is slacking on the midnight wake up calls due to exhaustion. (Or early morning help, or lack thereof.)
4) Who forgot to put the newly opened bottle of formula away, wasting it all.
5) Your other half went out with friends while you haven’t been out since your twins’ birth.
6) Your mother-in-law pushing her crappy parenting advice on you. (That can definitely cause a blow out.)
7) You don’t remember why the heck you were arguing in the 1st place.
17) You should stock up on laundry detergent and buy a large capacity washer & dryer.
You never did this much laundry before, and you won’t ever do this much laundry again. (Unless you have another child, of course.) The bigger machines are a worthwhile investment. And much like diapers, you just can’t have enough Tide (etc.) stored up for the number of loads of laundry you are going to be battling on this crazy ride. Spit ups, blow outs, grass stains, unknown substance stains. Oh yeah, you’ll be there.
Thanks for reading & keep it going super-mama!