The Mother’s Edition Of Happiness IS, Happiness IS NOT (Funny & True)
The Mother’s Edition Of Happiness IS, Happiness IS NOT (Funny & True)
My happy, pappy twins are 4 years, 1 month, 3 weeks & 6 days old.
Happiness is a quiet, sleeping baby that you almost want to wake up, but you realize that these moments are short-lived, so you just take the time to stare in awe.
Happiness is a husband who folds the laundry without begging, washes the dishes just because, and cleans up after himself in the bathroom without a prodding.
This is the nice way. A pointy heel might be more effective. Just kidding moms.
(Do not try that second one at home ;-).)
Happiness is getting a diaper on before getting soaked by an over-zealous wee-wee.
Happiness is a full pot of coffee on a cold, tired morning.
Happiness is a house full of children that you kept alive all day. Nobody went missing, no ambulance sirens were sounding, no body casts were molded. Life is good.
Happiness is finding money that you didn’t know that you had. $10 fine, $20 even better, $50 it’s a good day, $100 or more? Let’s go shopping! (This time, maybe for you?)
Happiness is realizing that we all have imperfections. It is learning to accept them and love yourself because you are beautiful…mind, body & soul.
Happiness is taking in the mail for just one day and not seeing one stinkin’ bill inside of the stack. (I’m still waiting for that wondrous day to occur.)
Happiness is making it through the winter without a horrible flu bug invading your home.
Happiness is learning to let go after having held on for too long.
(A bad friendship, relationship, past regrets, family grudges, etc.)
Happiness is a child finishing up their own homework without screaming, ”I NEED YOUR HELP” at every turn, when you don’t understand that new Common Core crap anyhow. My daughter never does her homework alone. Happiness will be the day that she does, but by then I’ll have two more to endure. EEK! My line when I hear complaining is, ”I’ll do my best to help you, but listen…I served my time 😆 .”
I hate when kids complain, ”But you’re not in school.” But duh I was or I wouldn’t have been able to put your name on the birth certificate when you were born and be able to spell with theze dun heree farncy lettrs :-P.
Happiness is finding 4 matching socks and shoes for twins to venture out in without an hour long scavenger hunt through the house. (Even the car sometimes.) That 4th shoe always likes to go missing. And socks, I think there is a sock monster that creeps in at night and eats them because they seem to vanish into thin air. I’m forever buying more of them.
Happiness is fitting back into your skinny jeans again (at some point, any point) after a pregnancy. YAY…YOU DID IT! Such a victory those without children could never comprehend.
Happiness is hearing ”I love you” at the end of a rough day. (Both from your kids and from your partner.)
Happiness is watching the scale needle go down pound by pound.
School starts at 9 am, hence happiness (and silence) is 9:05 am.
(But then we miss them, and happiness reboots itself at around 3:15 :-P.)
Happiness is going to sleep when it’s dark outside and waking up when it’s light outside.
Happiness is getting the chance to go to the grocery store or running any simple errands ALONE. No car seat carriers to bulk up your arms and pull muscles by carrying them inside of the place, or to race to a dry shopping cart that’s inside due to rain. No screaming whiny kids begging for something that they never wanted before until they saw it by the checkout counter. No clean-ups in aisle 7. No migraine. How lovely is that?
Happiness is NOT
Happiness is not going #2 and reaching over to find that there’s no toilet paper left on the roll. Worse yet, no paper left in the house. (YIKES!) Dang men and their ultra-regular bowel systems and toilet paper over-usage. After that, Price Club here we come!
Happiness is not getting a humongous zit on your nose for the first time in like 20 years the day of your VERY long-awaited date night with your spouse, or meeting your online love interest for the very 1st time.
Happiness is not getting a wedgie you can’t pick out during a parent/ teacher conference, a PTA meeting, or at an important work presentation or ASS-embly. (A little play on words there.)
Happiness is not getting orange tiger stripes from a fake tanning product you bought that a friend recommended to cover up ‘a multitude of sins’. She looked positively glowing, while you belong in the circus zoo.
Happiness is not burning the last 2 pieces of bread in the house inside of the toaster. (This usually occurs when the only thing your child wishes to eat is what? TOAST!)
Happiness is not running out of coffee in the morning, and the stores have yet to open. (Not that you aren’t in your bathrobe anyway.) AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH 😯 !!!!
Happiness is not getting spit up on your brand new blouse while you were just reaching for a burp cloth.
Happiness is not being up all night with a crying baby then having to go to work in the morning. Whether out of the home or in the home you still have to work, so this applies to all mothers.
That brings back the memories. Like of last night :lol:.
My kids tend to enjoy wake up calls until at least 4 years of age.
Happiness is not driving alone when smoke starts erupting from the hood of your car and you’re all alone with your children. (Been there.) Worse yet? In the rain. (Been there also.)
Happiness is not hunting and only being able to find one stinkin’ earring lying around. Or finding numerous earrings, but none in which a pair actually matches. Happiness is further hindered if you do find a pair and then ‘snap…no backs, damn it!’
Happiness is not paying retail.
Happiness is not having a house full of sick kids and waking up with a sore throat and sniffles yourself.
Happiness is not finding a coupon for $10 off an item the evening after you’ve already bought it.
Happiness is not a husband who doesn’t realize he’s no longer living at home with mommy. He needs to clean up his messes like a real big kid now. (Or he can go back home to mommy..he, he.)
Happiness is not being late for something important already, when you put your key in the ignition, and the car does not start.
Happiness is not finding a forged test returned to you in your child’s backpack. At least spell the name right! (Or put a real name actually on the paper.)
I got into big trouble a time or two for forging myself, but you have got to admit, this one is kind of cute.
A 5 year old’s forgery. I can’t help but smile there.
Happiness is not an empty bottle of wine after a particularly stressful day.
Happiness is not having a horny husband when you honestly DO have a headache.
Happiness is not scrubbing marker off of the wall, praying that your husband did in fact bring home washable markers as instructed.
Happiness is not looking into the mirror and seeing your mother’s face staring back at you!
Happiness is not an itchy boulder holder (AKA bra). Men just don’t know how good that they’ve got it!
I could go on and on, but I will stop here.
True happiness for any mom to theirs, or any child to his or hers is…
Add your own Happiness is or is not below!