The Biggest Worry Once You Become A Mother Or Father.

Written by Twinpossible on March 16, 2012 - 0 Comments
Categories: Miscellaneous, Sex, Marriage, & Mom

The Biggest Worry Once You Become A Mother Or Father.

3-16-2012

My not-so- terrible twosters are 2 years & 2 weeks old.

As I sat in the brief silence of my room yesterday, I had this thought come over me. The question in my mind I wondered if the answer for everybody was the same, or if I’m just some kind of odd ball of sorts.

Did you really start worrying about your own mortality, your own health and potential demise, after you had children much more so then ever before?

The thought of leaving my children alone without a mother consumes me enough to jump on everything. (Any possible medical problem, take care of myself in other ways, etc.) This is unlike I ever took care of myself before. Is this normal? Do you feel the same way since you have become a parent? Moms and dads feel free to answer.

Many years ago, I remember being a child very fearful of death. I was a chronic over-thinker in fact. Not that that was a good thing. I think I feared my parents dying and other loved ones more so then myself, especially after my grandmother passed. She was like a mother/ father/ best friend all in one person. It was life altering, losing her.

But just the thought of death period left me lying alone awake and scared many a night. Then as I sprung into my early teens, around 13 I would say, life was so miserable for me I think I honestly welcomed death, or at least no longer gave a damn. I wouldn’t harm myself as I was raised in a faith that believes you go to a very dark place if you do that. Now I believe that God knows a person’s heart, but I’m very glad now I did always believe that, or who knows?

I didn’t much care what happened to me. I wasn’t one to race to a doctor when I didn’t feel right. When I started driving, I didn’t always take caution in it. I felt fearless in a sense. Even after a near death experience of being hit by a speeding truck, it didn’t all sink in. I didn’t have a true and full appreciation for life and for living, until I had children.

Once I became a mom there was so much outside of myself to live for. The magical feelings were also combined with some very worry-filled ones. I think all moms-to-be and new moms are scared. ‘Will he or she be ok? 10 fingers, 10 toes, completely healthy and normal?’ Then, ‘Will I be around to watch him grow up, get married, have a family?’

I also didn’t worry so much about losing a significant other until I got married and we had children together. I suddenly made my husband promise me he’d live forever, or at least until I am well gone. Go to the doctors, take care of yourself, be here with me for the duration. I can’t picture life without him. I never had that strong of a desire for me and another person to live. And of course, we all want to go before our children.

I read this statement the other day and BAMO, it hit me like a ton of bricks. How true to me was this very wise statement. I could have written it myself.

“In our younger years we often feel invincible. Most of us don’t think beyond our own small world. But what a world full of terrifying things it becomes once we become mothers, and none is more frightening than not being there for our children.”

Isn’t that the truth? Aside from worrying about our children, naturally…isn’t that tops? Worrying about being around for them, and trying damn hard to make sure that we will be? I don’t let myself nor my husband let anything go health-wise. We have 4 very important reasons to stay alive and well.