Scariest, Hardest & Most Fun Parts About Having And Raising Twins
Scariest, Hardest & Most Fun Parts About Having And Raising Twins
(Sorry I Was MIA – PC On The Fritz)
My double bundles turned tumbles are 4 years, 9 months, 3 weeks & 5 days old.
I don’t know how much of this I will get through, but hopefully I can get one post in. My computer has been acting wonky ever since we were using the Santa Tracker on Christmas Eve. For shame if you killed my computer Santa Claus 😥 .
OK, this morning I figured I’d appeal to my twin mom and twin mom-to-be readers. Maybe the want-to-be twin mamas as well. There are very awesome parts of having twins, but there are also some pretty scary and hard parts as well, let’s be honest.
Scariest & also hardest parts for me
Looking back on my almost 5 year old twins (but not quite yet, so don’t rush them), the absolute scariest part still has to be that darned pregnancy and delivery aspect of things. The shock that set in right from the get-go, the fear of not being able to carry twins to a healthy point in the pregnancy without my uterus busting open, but trust me that does NOT happen. The feeling of being the only one out there (in the real world anyway) carrying more than one baby made me feel a bit freakish, admittedly.
When people heard I was having twins there were less ‘double congrats’ as there were shocking reactions that made me even more fearful, like, ”Good luck with that.” ”I hope you have a lot of help.” ”Oh my God, I can’t even imagine.” Even one lady working in Big Lots told me, ”My mom had twins and she hated it. We hear about it everyday of our lives.” Nice to tell me, and I can’t imagine that she hated it. Not the best mom, hey? Even just the looks and speechlessness I received from not just family amd acquaintances, but from total strangers. That was scary. I mean my own parents were like, ”Don’t look at us for help.” Dad said, ”Your marriage will end.” ”Your other kids’ lives will be ruined.” ”You’ll be flat broke.” (Nice huh?) Those things didn’t happen, but they were scary to hear from someone who is supposed to love and support you.
My husband was speechless for months on end. For a long while he just couldn’t talk about it and reading his mind was impossible, but he didn’t seem at all happy, which is what I needed to get out of my own shock. It was a lonely time. All I had was the Internet, and that alone was super scary. I guess you can imagine why it was so frightening for me, hey? I felt super alone and terrified. Nobody in my life could relate or seemed happy for me and my double blessings-to-be, so how could I be anything but afraid? And I read too much. A stupid thing to do. I don’t advise it, unless it is reading here.
The pregnancy, fears of the birth and having two healthy babies as a result of it. Admittedly, what would become of my body that birthed 3 singletons before, but never a duo, which seemed impossible to survive after my online searches. It was all very frightening, but I prepared myself for ‘horror’ all-around mentally, however, on all fronts, things turned out better than planned. Not that everything was easy breezy, but you know what I am saying. I definitely had no thoughts of rose gardens and pink fluffy rainbows. I think it is quite important to be realistic, but I do regret all of the worrying and not enjoying the pregnancy experience more, because it truly is a miracle experience. Scary yes, but totally miraculous. It should be enjoyed.
The fighting between twins was really scary when they were little most especially, because they had no self-control and couldn’t yet understand my words or their own actions really. They just struck and were sometimes out for blood. That was both hard and scary. I was in constant panic mode worrying about not just the normal baby-proofing and dangers with one baby x’s two, but the dangers they faced towards one another. That got crazier it seemed but then decreased over time, so hang in there if you are in the thick of it and feel like more of a referee than a mommy right now. They will bond and love one another. Though they still do fight some, they are for sure great pals and don’t make one another bleed or take bites out of one another at all anymore. Such a relief. Things are much more easy-going and tolerable there.
Most fun parts for me
The most fun parts of having twins. Well, as tiny babies, I was so relieved and felt so bless to have two healthy girls with me, that made all of the hard newborn times much easier than ever predicted. I had great teamwork going on with my husband, even though I did not have a village full of help like all of the people scared me into believing I would need. We were enough. I used to stare at them for hours on end. I couldn’t believe what my body created and birthed. It was MAGICAL! I loved watching them sleep, but I wished they were awake more, even while knowing one day I would long for some naps again. They just were SO innocent and precious.
I am so in love with baby twins. They make me stop wherever I go and just stare at them, almost jealous in a way, wishing we could go back there again. There is nothing more incredible really. Much more so then I ever predicted. I couldn’t see it until they were here. Sure I had sore arm muscles from tons of feedings and carrying heavy car seats, and yes backaches galore, but I don’t know who said (most everybody I met, but I think they are all liars now) that the first year with twins, namely 6 months, is the hardest, but heck no. You may feel tired, but it was not at all a blur to me like other moms have said. It was the BEST! It was adorable and unforgettable, even though I loved seeing them interact and play more as time went on, it just was not the hardest time to me, and it was definitely a time that I will always treasure.
(It was the most physical work, but not the hardest AT ALL, in my opinion. With my set anyway. I’d go back in a second! My husband honestly agrees.)
I definitely didn’t ever feel more special in my life. Being me never seemed as intriguing as when I had newborn and infant twins. People who never knew me at all came up to me and just swarmed around my duo. I got praise galore every where I went, not just for my beautiful babies, but also for being such an incredible mommy. The compliments, I do miss them. I got so many, and often wonder where they have gone to? I know I surely deserve them more now.. ha, ha. The twins have definitely posed more challenges for me then when they were napping away, or cooing in their car seats, or being fed by bottles two at a time. That was the easy part, but with strangers that is just how it is. They praise you then and long to assist you if need be. (Open up doors, etc.) You do become a celebrity. Did some of the questions get annoying and downright personal? Yeah. Did it take a lot longer to get things done then without them coming along with me? Yes. But do I miss it at the same time? Yupper. It was nice, admittedly. I took them everywhere, even when I didn’t have to.
Though the twins have fought over the years and will fight for different reasons over their entire lives, twins is definitely unlike the singleton experience. It is amazing to watch the interaction, the highs and lows, but definitely the highs. It definitely warms the heart. It makes all of the hardships, and there are many, totally worthwhile.
The hard reality of twins, but the joy of twins combined
So yes, twins are not two for the price of one, check my bank account. They cost a lot of money to raise, they are harder than a singleton because unlike what some people say, they do NOT come out of the womb entertaining each other, making life easier.. (MYTH). It’s a long while before that happens, and mom needs be there even more so to make sure they play nice and don’t harm one another.
They are much more work throughout, but especially in the beginning (though I didn’t mind). Diaper changes, feedings, night-time exhaustion is more prevalent, and it is harder to juggle multiples around, making sure everybody gets their perfect, fair share of attention and bonding time, which is by far easier with one baby at a time. It still is an experience that I wanted to admittedly take back during those very early months of pregnancy. I just wanted one at a time like everybody else, but after they were born and now? I’d never go back no matter the expenses, struggles and hardships. They are insane but amazing! I can’t imagine one at a time now.
So if you have twins, what was/is the scariest part for you, the hardest and the most fun parts of raising multiples? I’m sure many would love to read your responses.
YEAH, my PC didn’t freeze up or shut down. Praying it lasts!
(Oops.. spoke too soon. Just had to go downstairs to finish. UGH! 😈 )