Questions For A Twin Mom Answered (Part 1)
Questions For A Twin Mom Answered (Part 1)
My ‘double trouble’ (don’t ya just love that one?) No my double bundles of love are now 5 years, 4 months, 3 weeks & 3 days old.
1) What is it like to have twins inside of your belly?
It is DEFINITELY a lot busier in there than having only one baby baking in your belly. It seems like somebody is always awake and ready to party. ‘Pump up the volume, pump up the volume, pump up the volume, dance, dance!’ It is pretty cool, but you may feel at times that your body was invaded by aliens, but think about it – 2 sets of hands, 2 sets of feet, 4 arms, 4 legs, 4 knees, 4 elbows. Where else can all of that go?
I don’t know how someone could NOT know they are pregnant with multiples just by the non-stop action by the extra body parts in ALL places of the abdomen, but it happens. Maybe they think they just have one wild child with octopus legs or something. I don’t know.
2) How do you handle the constant questions, remarks and brazen comments you received with a young twin pair?
This is just funny. I can relate to it, even though our twins were IUI conceived, you just get soo sick of hearing very personal questions from strangers. I feel this mom’s frustration.
How did I always handle the questions?
Very gracefully and even comically most times. The only 2 times I did not find a way to twist things around, and just felt like ‘damn, that was just a really crappy thing to say to me’ was when a woman had asked me if my Annie bug, who had a lot less hair than her co-twin, (no, wasn’t mistaken for a boy in pink and frilly headwear. That happened ALL of the time.) But when a lady asked me if there was a medical reason that she had so much less hair, maybe implying cancer.. I don’t know, but who the heck asks that? That I didn’t expect, nor have a good pun for. I was just shocked.
That was just horrible because 1st of all I don’t remember coming into this world being able to order up thick blond locks. Second of all she was a BABY of about 8 or 9 months of age. It’s fine to be bald (or in her case) bald-ISH at that age. 3rd of all imagine if there was something medically wrong with her. That took a lot of guts and is the dumbest, most sickening question I was ever asked by a woman. By a man once I was told that my twins didn’t look anything alike, and so was I sure they were from the same father. What, am I a slut now? Does this guy even know me at all? No he did NOT! I took some offense to it, but he didn’t know. (IGNORANCE!) I know some women might have popped him for that one. Unless they mixed up the sperm samples at the lab that isn’t at all possible.
You honestly just handle these things as best you can. You’ll hear certain comments repeatedly and get sick of it sometimes. (Do these people really think they are being original?) I just tried to limit the small talk sometimes, but there certainly were times I got caught up for a good hour or more. You can always’ white lie’ yourself away from big talkers. ”Time for the babies to be fed.’ ‘Time for a nap.’ ‘Laundry is done, but it’s wet in the washer. I got to get home before it starts stinking.’ ‘Got to go and make dinner now.’ While some might not get the memo, most will.
3) How do you handle two babies crying at the same time?
I wouldn’t say this is a super rare occurrence with twins, but it doesn’t happen quite as often as one might think. Two distress calls at once is not a constant issue with baby twins. I guess God helps us out in that department. He gives us one ‘chill’ twin vs. the other that is more ornery and demanding so that you know when the chill twin is crying there is a definite reason. So basically you just feel out the situation and tend first to the one that either has a visible issue (or a really smelly one) 1st, and then go over to the other baby. Also, it’s amazing how twin moms get to know even their babies’ cries so well. Oh, this baby is hungry, this one is constipated. This baby is tired, this one just wants to be held. (Etc. etc.)
There are different types of cries, so basically you have to decide which needs your attention straight away, and the one with the lesser need will go second if your partner is not around to help. Twins end up learning to wait more patiently and are also (down the line) much better at sharing than singletons are. It’s not as tough of a situation as some may think. (Much like I did prior to having them myself.) ‘Oh my God, what will I do with two screaming babies?’ It isn’t as hard or even as common as you may think. Go with the flow is what I say. You are only human ;-).
4) How did you lose the weight so fast?
I was totally shocked at how quickly the weight fell off of me after my twins were born. At 5 days postpartum I was back down to exactly the weight I was before I conceived them. I had a big mummy tummy I used a belly binder for, but the weight was back down. That NEVER happened so fast with my 3 singletons. When you think about it, it does make some sense. Two babies (for many to most twin mamas) 2 placentas, a lot of extra blood volume and water weight. You may find yourself shocked to. As long as you don’t over-gain like I truly expected that I would with two in tow, and stay within the recommended weight gain (as best you can) you will lose a lot of weight quite fast. You definitely will fare well going this route. You do need to cave for some cravings though. Again, you are human!
Now if you gain 100 lbs. and have two small babies you may not feel the same way, but if you gain 30-45 lbs… maybe even 50, and I have gained that with only 1, you will see you will lose it faster than you ever did with one baby in tow. Work on the mummy tummy with postpartum belly binding, and you will be looking terrific in no time. Multiples are not a body death sentence as some women think. I was once one of them. And oh, if you breastfeed, though I did not, you lose weight even faster.
5) How did you handle taking out two babies turned rambunctious toddlers all on your own?
I had to do it. I enjoyed doing it! I’m the type of person who adores the fresh air, can’t stand too much confinement and is always on the go. Twins never stopped me from doing the things that I wanted to do, not at any age or stage. (Avoid malls for 8 weeks, but I did take them for walks at only days old.)
Going out for walks, trips to the park, to the stores to buy clothes and formula, etc., to the beach, the museum, even nearly day long trips alone many a time and came home with everybody alive and in one piece. I did it all. Twins never stopped me. Yes, they may delay certain things. Two babies to get ready to go out with. Two babies to care for while out. People staring and stopping to chat throughout the day. But for certain it’s TOTALLY doable and worth it for everybody. I used to watch twin moms in awe, but once you are there, it all just comes naturally. The routines develop, and everything falls into place.
You do get to learn very quickly what you need to pack, who needs what, figure out where you are going the night prior and have a game plan. I think that’s important, as well as packing most of your enlarged diaper bag the night before as you will ALWAYS forget something the day of if you wait until the very last minute. You may find yourself driving back home for a binkie or something.
I think staying in too much contributes to postpartum depression, which definitely is more common in multiple mommies. I find getting out, no matter the length or nature of the venture, is not just good for them, but very therapeutic for you and your sanity as well. I still say 5+ years later that I would rather manage my twins out than at home. It can turn into much more of a whirlwind at home than it ever was or is in public. I choose going out basically every day, no matter for how long it is, rather than complete or even partial isolation. That isn’t good for ANYBODY, so don’t be afraid.
Your first few ventures may seem overwhelming, but trust me, you will catch on mega fast and see how much more enjoyable life is outside of the walls of your home. As Michael Jordan says – JUST DO IT! It’s nice to have help around, but you totally don’t NEED it. You will survive. Be as organized as possible (and I was the least organized person before having them), and all will turn out well.
I will answer more twin mom questions that I get asked all of the time very soon. I’ll make sort of a series out of it. Oh, and if you have a particular question you would like me to answer in a post please just leave a comment below, and I will add it in 😛 . I like to be helpful in any way possible!
Have a wonderful Sunday friends!