Parenting Twins: Exploring the Comical Side Of Raising Multiples!

 

 

Parenting Twins:  Exploring the Comical Side Of Raising Multiples!

1-23-2011

 

 

 

I recently wrote a featured blog post about raising multiples, with some comical undertones, while intertwining the truth within the satire. 

 

To not echo that post AT ALL, but to be honest about what goes into parenting multiples in a slightly exaggerated, and tomfoolish way.  (Yes that is a word.)   Here goes nothing. 

 

For those who find themselves the unexpected parent, (really, who truly plans it?), or parent to-be of multiple mayhem, 1st off, you got to have a good sense of humor.  A great one actually.

 

 If you don’t have one yet, start developing one now, because you’ll need to laugh off a lot of life’s ‘little annoyances’, and be able to find humor in things when say, one twin grabs the others dirty diaper, while you turn around to grab a fresh one, and poop gets flung at your face. 

 

Don’t worry.  At times it will miss and hit you in other body areas.  (If it does, go play lotto.  My old mother in law, swears this is actually good luck.  Go figure.  A hand in the poop is worth 6 figures in the bank.  I went and played just yesterday ). 

 

Just be sure and have a towel handy at all times, especially with feisty, mobile, twins.  Maybe sew one through your empty belt loop or something.  Newborn multiples are fairly harmless, so you won’t need that for awhile, if yours are still sleepers, and not teethers.

  

 

Did mommy forget to tie off that dirty diaper bag again?

HA!!

Nah, that’s just chocolate pudding!  Feeding us dessert in our walkers, wasn’t the best idea mom

 

 

Oh, and whatever can be pushed to the back burner, you don’t really have to try and push those things aside, you simply won’t have much choice in the matter.  ‘Mail?  I don’t know,  was that today I took it in the house, or was that yesterday?  Perhaps last Thursday, who knows?  I better just check.’ 

 

In the Winter time, which is so not my time of year personally, I find that life with multiples when home bound 90% of the time,  is like one long day, where if you didn’t have other kids to remind you when they have to go back to school, every day would be Saturday, or should I say…….. S…A….T…..U…..R….D…..A….Y.   The longest day of the week. 

 

 

Forget about checking the newspaper for the date, the twinkies will have it in shreds before you get to the front page, and no use trying to check the TV, one of the duo is busy watching Chuggington and will scream bloody murder should you change the station, which is something I know I wouldn’t be willing to risk, if my duo would actually watch a bit of T.V. 

 (I don’t want two couch potatoes, but 1/2 an hour a day would be nice.)

 

.

You basically just got to be realistic.  Dishes are gong to pile up, clothes will remain unfolded and not on hangers for awhile, and if you don’t remember to, you might just forget to take a bowel movement.  Try not to do this. 

 

As someone who has IBS with severe constipation, (I’m an open candid chick, what can I say?), it ain’t a fun, nor a very pretty, way to live. So please, don’t hold back.  Me I have no choice.

 

 On the plus side, I certainly don’t spend much time in the bathroom, however, My husband more then makes up for the both of us.  What’s with men and scheduled bathroom breaks?  How do you schedule a poo?  Every night same routine for my hubby, and it takes quite awhile to.  I swear it’s just his little vacation getaway from all of us.  I’m jealous!

 

 

Expect to be interrupted quite often in the boudoir.  I can imagine this will increase as time passes on.  That is if my libido returns as time passes on.  *Knock on wood*.  I don’t know whether to blame the pill, which I have never been on before, or blame my exhaustion.

 

Just make sure, that especially if you have teething twins like I do right now, up in the night, which hopefully your luck may be better, to tell your husband that at this time, and in this case only, premature ejaculation is not only allowed, it’s encouraged.  Well, as long as he gives you a few minutes alone afterwards.. HA HA! 

 

 Say goodbye to foreplay for awhile, but many of us have shortened that activity after saying, ‘I do’.  No sorry, that’s not right.  Actually after having children.  Oh, and if this doesn’t include you, then please tell me, ‘What’s your secret?’  

  

 

But on the serious side, and I could go around joking forever.  It may sound just terrible.  Like you will be in a coma like state, living in a pig stye and not getting any for quite a long while, but it’s NOT that bad at all, and I am exaggerating. 

 

Being a parent of multiples, is a wonderful gift, and an experience that if I could go back to the days where I admittedly had singleton envy, and was able to make the choice to be pregnant with only 1 baby, which just felt so much more right at that time, knowing all I do now, I would NEVER want that. 

 

1 baby at a time seems like such a snooze now.  Watching them so different, so unique, so passionate about life, and changing by the day, and now really interacting, makes me so happy to watch, and makes us as a family, feel so complete.  It brings me more joy then I have had, well, in my whole life really, and everything you put in, you get out, ten fold.

 

I love my multiple blessings!

 

 God blessed you, and picked you for this purpose, and there is nothing in life you can’t handle.  Including changing two little hineys back to back, and feeding two little sets of cheeks (other side), back to back.  There is so much more then that to. 

 

Two sets of smiles, two little giggles, two big warm hugs, two sweet kisses at night, and two children to help push around our wheelchairs when we get all old and grey. (And maybe slightly confused.)

 

 

 I knew this would pay off!  !

 

Seriously, the pay off is instant, and on going!  Enjoy your blessings.  The time it passes far too fast, so don’t blink and savour it all.  The good, the challenging, and the smelly!