Pain In Possible Land. Some Of The Current Going-ons! :(
Pain In Possible Land. Some Of The Current Going-ons!
We are 12 months & 4 weeks old!
This is how old I feel right now, minus the smile
Hi everybody. I hope you are all well. Over here as usual, something is always going on, and not in a positive direction, sadly. Today we are supposed to go and get our Easter photos taken. We’ll see if that happens. UGH!
I was going to go back to Kiddie Kandids, but when I realized I had a $50 FREE coupon towards my session at Target + $3.99 sheets, so it’d be almost free, I thought about my husband and not myself, as money is very tight right now, and decided to go there for the sake of the almighty dollar. I’ll be putting up my review of such photo places, shortly.
I like Target but they really need to catch up with their backgrounds, and get many more props. It’s getting old, year after year of the same stuff, and small selection, but then again the lil’ birdie sits on my shoulder, chirps & reminds me,..’free free.’ If I get 12 sheets the whole thing is free, how can I not do it? We’d be morons not to go!
Of course, today is the final day the credit is good for, and what happens? Well, I don’t know what on God’s great green Earth happened to me in the past couple of days. I felt fine for Zumba last Friday. I felt fine playing with my son on the court on Sunday, but by Tuesday, I was a complete and utter cripple, worsening by the day! I didn’t over do a dang thing, didn’t feel myself ‘pull’ anything, but yet I feel right now, like I got hit by a truck, and I DO know what that feels like, for the record.
I can’t move one of my arms to shoulder level, or even close. I don’t have much range of motion at all. I had to wear it in a sling yesterday, and I still feel it throbbing in pain without moving it. I can’t put on my own clothes on, or take them off myself, and the pain is absolutely excruciating when I attempt to. It’s insanely frustrating for me.
I can easily feel a pulled muscle in my back. It hurts when I take a deep breath in, and I blame this old, shoddy mattress I am sleeping on for somehow waking up with that, but what is happening to me? My shoulder and neck making me unable to sleep at night, pick up my baby girls, or do anything really, has me feeling depressed and defeated. I just want to hold them so bad, but every day I wake up, I am worse..and worse..and worse! Not better.. and.. better.. and.. better.
The pain is so bad. I have a heating pad on most of the day and night. I just want to be normal again. When I try and put in a pony tail or something, I literally scream like I’m being murdered. It’s a shocking pain you can’t help but shout out from. I don’t like to be held back or restricted, so I have tried to do some things, I maybe shouldn’t, and I’m sure the neighbors must think somebody is getting killed or beaten over here.
Now in my hypochondriac mind, I’m wondering since there was nothing that seemingly happened to cause this, could it some some disease taking over my body? Could this be the beginning of something utterly disastrous? I know, but I just can’t help but wonder, because I have had pinched nerves & pulled muscles before actually FROM doing something, and it wasn’t this bad. Not ever. I have a $3,000 insurance deductible, so I want to avoid tests right now, if I can. We don’t have it!
Then on top of that, there appeared to be a diaper rash on Allie’s private area, that we thought was just stubborn as all hell. Very oddly but happily, my twins have really never had any diaper rash at all, which has been awesome. We use Desitin maximum strength and apparently it works like a charm, but then we started buying other things, wondering why this rash down there that came out of nowhere, was not fading away.
We were changing her diaper every hour, soaking her daily in warm water, washing her down. Putting on tons of cream, but it never started going away. ‘Hmm, what more can we try?’ I thought to myself. ‘That’s one stubborn rash.’ Then yesterday I noticed little bumps like a prickly heat rash, that suddenly appeared on her entire body.
I’m talking as soon as we took her out of her clothes there it all was, and a couple hours prior while putting her into her clothing, these bumps were non-existent. They looked much like a heat rash, as mentioned above, but certainly not in this weather. So my mind started wandering and of course, I bugged out.
My kids had to miss their extra curricular activities yesterday, as I called for an emergency appointment for Allie to be seen, my heart racing. They took one look at the ever spreading rash, and said one word…Eczema. Anybody know how long it lasts? I have no experience, and refuse to Google because it always makes me crazy, but I hope not for long, she is suffering and itching so. Just 1/2 a day of this, is killing poor ‘ol mom here!
Then they took a look at what we thought this whole time was a diaper rash, and said it was a fungus, not a rash at all, and would never have gone away with the creams we were using. So much for being an expert mommy! I felt so awful for her. THEN to top it all off, she said that Allie also has a double ear infection, and one ear that is quite severe to, and gave us a multitude of potions and a script for penicillin to treat all of the ailments plaguing her, right now. My poor, poor, baby.
The bumps on her face are getting redder, and on her belly, they are red as she scratches at them, looking for relief. It’s such a miserable time over here. So glad I have some drafts from the past several days, still left to post about. We just had a really tough night with her, and pray things get better. I can’t handle any worse.
I’m very tired, and as a mom you know that feeling of helplessness you feel when your child is hurting and uncomfortable, and especially when you can’t even rock her in your arms to soothe her. It makes you feel like stinky crap stuck to the bottom of a dirty shoe. Nothing is lower then that.
It’s truly amazing how good she is being despite all of that though. Even the doctor noted this while she was being examined. I said to my son, He’d have to miss Soccer and my daughter that she couldn’t go to dance class, we had to go and rush Allie in, and I thought she’d be like, ‘Grrr….I want to go to my class. That baby is ruining my fun time.’
But she surprised me by saying. ‘Allie is most important right now, mom. I hope she will be alright.’ WOW, my 5 year old has made a breakthrough…hallelujah! I was so pleased at how she handled that, as you all know the jealousy hell we have endured for the past year. BUT…that was one very good thing in this. Other then that, it’s as usual…when it rains, it pours!
Wish us luck with the pictures. I have no clue how this is going to go down now. I bought some props yesterday, but I just don’t foresee the perfect photo experience today. Hub will have to dress me and the kids. At least Allie will be explainably ornery and red bumped. Nothing I can do about that. WAH!
Annie is always tough on picture day, trying to keep her still for one second, and the constant pulling off of the headbands can make you crazy, These are lightweight, so I hope she’ll forget about ‘em. I really don’t know how I’d hold anybody for a picture. I don’t want to be screaming bloody murder in the middle of Target! I just hope something good comes out of the day. Poor hub’s week off has turned out to be hell on Earth! I feel bad for him to. I think he can’t wait to go back!
Thanks for listening. Have a great day everybody.
My happy, pretty baby, last week. We want to see that smile again Allie-pop!
“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.”
- B. Olatunji