My Twin Wants To Be A Single Baby?! (And ‘The Party’)
My Twin Wants To Be A Single Baby?! (And ‘The Party’)
I have figured this out finally. I have always said, Annaliese is the crazy, more boisterous twin. The roles have never reversed there, like some twins moms have told me would likely happen along the way. (NOT YET anyhow, and I can’t even picture it).
She continues to be the tough cookie, in the duo, and I told the Dr., last visit, how she screams so much of her waking hours at home, and I mean she’s got PIPES, she can wail!
Now he said, that isn’t really normal. We are passed the ‘Pull your hair out phase’, (for awhile anyhow), but oddly the time that he says is the worst, and many mom’s say was the worst, was the ‘Heavenly phase’ over here with us, but both me and my husband predicted disaster while I was pregnant, which made everything seem so much better then we predicted.
They actually slept, and together, during those first few months, and well, now things are all a mess, and night times are pretty good, and only once in awhile does Annie wake, and never the other, but during the day, it’s just WAH…demanding, no sleeping together at all, maybe 20 minute naps once in awhile, here or there, never at the same time, and I got to say I feel bad for little Allie. I feel badly for everybody sometimes.
That scream is just so demanding and constant, if she doesn’t get instant gratification, and have it continue on with contsant attention, which is so hard, but also leads me to believe that it’s not a medical issue, it’s a personality thing, but I don’t see other babies like her, anywhere I go. Not at this age. Maybe a 2 year old having a temper tantrum may remind me of Annaliese, but not much else. 👿
The doctor, had given me the number of a gastrointestinologist, and I made an appointment for next month, However, why is it, that when she is out and about, being constantly stimulated, the screaming stops, and she’s a content baby? When she’s in the house..MISERABLE, and needs to be held constantly, when she’s out, she’s the social butterfly, life of the party, that is actually a pleasure to contend with. All smiles like THIS!
I love life, with the big kids!
It’s weird, it’s basically reversed. Allie is good regardless, however is worse while out, then she is at home, and vise versa with the other. Sometimes when I’m going someplace, hub (Since he works nights), will tell me to leave the babies home with him, and I must enjoy chaos, because I like taking them, but sometimes, I will just say, ‘Ok, who do you want me to take, I’ll take 1’, so he can get something accomplished, because one baby is absolutely simple to me at this point in life. Who knew? Didn’t used to feel so simple.
He’ll always tell me take skinny (aka Annie), and I do, and she’s happy to oblige. He gets more done at home, and she’s actually a pleasure to deal with, where there are things going on around her. She seems to have more fun when she is without her sister, so she gets picked up first always, and fed without a seconds delay.
I mean she is so impatient when she eats, she screams bloody murder, every time, you put the spoon to her sister’s mouth, no matter how quickly you work. She gets downright MAD! Allie never does, she just sits and watches her sister act out, but I feel bad, like she doesn’t need that yelling in her ear, during a meal. Poor kid!
You put them together for play, and they will smile, but then go straight to the attack. We call it over here, ‘Baby boxing’. I often sound the bell, to end the round, quite quickly. They go straight for the eyes, and Annie goes for the hair to, since Allie has enough to pull, and make her cry. Isn’t that awful, already? What’s next, biting? Oh no, just jinxed myself.
Everyone said, how they will keep each other occupied, so it gives you a break. NO, it gives me another job….Referee! I couldn’t trust them alone with one another for 10 seconds, make that 3. Someone would be missing an eye ball, or have a crop of missing hair. It just wouldn’t happen. Will this change, and they will play nice? And if so, then when? That remains to be seen.
Annie just doesn’t want Allie to eat AT ALL, when it’s feeding time. She wants to be held, and screams at me,when I pick Allie up, which I feel badly, that I have to hold the other more, and like somehow Allie is looking up at me, and being like ‘Mom why not me?’ It breaks my heart!
She seems to be happier when she is alone for the ride, without her other half. She never could sleep with her, and enjoys her own space. Wants all the attention to herself, and tries to beat her up when put with the other. Where is the twin bond, and the love, in that?
At any rate, I took her to a birthday party with me and Mikayla over the weekend. We were gone for quite a few hours, and she was really good. She captured the hearts and eyes of everybody there. It felt like something, I mean someone was missing, and that was Allie. I felt guilty.
It’s good to have their own time sometimes, but I felt like she was getting all the fun, and her sister was having a blah time at home with daddy, no fair. Well, at least she was getting one on one attention, like I try and give her in the evenings. It’s HARD trying to splice yourself up between 4 children. Really, really hard! How do moms of more do it?
Back to the party. Annie is laughing up a storm. People were trying to snatch her from me, at every turn. At home sometimes, it’s like ‘Take her please!’ (I just mean for the moment, of course), but out, she’s a doll, especially when she’s watching other children. (This is why I’m dreading Winter so. I’m dreading being locked in, so much more often!)
I had to go to the bathroom, and my friend’s friend, wanted to watch her while I went. I had a GPS chip installed in my kids, so it was ok. Just kidding, but I have thought about it. No, I knew where she lived, plus her kid was there, so I let her hold her, plus Mikayla was nearby, keeping an eye out.
Our kids are our most precious possessions. We’ll always be wary, but with my IBS acting up, I couldn’t have her on the bowel with me! (WHAT A FUNNY FRAUDENT SLIP…I meant on the bowl, 😳 ). Such beautiful timing, in a public children’s place. Can anyone say EMBRARRASMENT?
I come out, and find her with Annaliese, on the little baby rides, laughing up a storm. The woman had bought tokens for her to go on the baby rides, which were just like those ones outside the old Shop Rite or something. She was holding her up of course, but when the tokens were done, a big WAH!!!! Emerged. She gets MAD! That was really funny.
Next thing you know, another mother in the party runs up, and wants to grab her. I’m thinking to myself, you know where are these people when I need a hand at home, right now I’m fine! Next thing you know, Annie is asleep on her chest. We took notice that Annie only likes big chested women, and when a man even looks at her, she absolutely freaks out.
She wants no part in the male species, outside family, at all. (Thank God!) Wait a minute, no men, only big breasted women? That could be trouble to. I do want me some grandchildren 😆 ….But at any rate. Check out Annie sleeping comfortably on Tanya’s pillows. She seems quite content.
Ahh, this is the good life! Mom needs a water bra, for honkers like these! 🙂
Then I had to feed her. She eats like a horse during her two solid meals per day, and I was two containers of food in, when Mikayla and her little friend, the birthday girl came over, and she cried, ‘I want to feed her, I want to feed her!’. So Janessa, grabs the spoon, and carefully puts the food in Annie’s mouth. Then of course that makes Mikayla want to feed the baby, though she has two at home to feed, any time that she would like 😆 .
Then Janessa again, wanted a turn, and I said, ‘Ok, one last time, because she’s hungry’, and she does it, and the baby made a little gagging sound. Kind of looked like Annie moved towards the spoon, giving her a slight gag, but no biggie right? Whelp 2 seconds later..BLAH, all over!
It was like nothing she has ever done before, and everything that she ate that afternoon, just came up, and was all over her, as she laughed through the funk. I had never seen anything like it. That was puke x’s 20! If it wasn’t a one shot deal, I would have been concerned, but I saw what happened, so did my friend, who helped me out with the mess.
Of course since I couldn’t find anything else, I had put down the only blanket I had with me, over the dirty old high chair, because it’s a public high chair, so I threw it over to keep her clean, never expecting this. It was in her face, on her clothes, on her socks, I had just pulled off her shoes thankfully, so I could use them later, to cover her piglets, and yes of course, it was all over that blanket.
The blanket right before, & Annie before ‘The flood’. I didn’t record the messy aftermath!
I had been trying to pack a full extra outfit, but have never needed it before, and hub convinced me to take a fancy onesie instead, because we never needed the clothing changes we always bring them. They don’t spit up at all, and I was cursing myself for takin his clothing choice, instead of what I was going to pack. ‘Good one God!’ 😉
It was going to be colder at night, what was I going to do? He had just cleaned out his car, so when I went back to look, I found nothing much, except for a sweater, but what about the chicken legs? I found a sweater of mine and used it to wrap around her lower half, when we left. The blanket went into a hefty bag, along with the other ‘Yaked on’ clothing.
Next thing you know, you hear bells going off. Someone or something had set off the fire alarm. I screamed out, ‘ Where is Mikayla?’ As I know, she opened the emergency door once at the Mc Donald’s. Oh, everybody just loved me that day, NOT.
She was playing nearby, it wasn’t her, but she came running towards me. Found out minutes later, the cotton candy machine was on fire. (Should have went up and taken a photograph. Oh well, I forgot about blogging at that moment!).
You’d be surprised how some people get so frightened over that, and fire is one of my biggest fears, but it was a little fire in one machine. They had the firefighters there, the trucks and all. Unless the workers are panicking, and they were not, I’m not going to freak out.
It was such a minor thing, in that gigantic place. I’m like, joking around, ‘ Go & get a few men together, to throw some towels on it, what’s the big deal?’
They dragged it outside, but half the people still left the place, and drove off. Oh well for them, as the party kids came back inside, and were playing once again. I started conversing with a woman from the party, because aside from watching portly firefighters, what else was there to do?
She goes, ‘I have 12 year old twins at home’, and I’m of course asking her some questions, making small talk, and we are laughing, and then she goes, ‘Oh, I used to take one out sometimes to, and people would be like, ‘Whose babysitting the other one, daddy? Do you get that?’, she asks me.
Well, on the once in awhile occasion, I take only one out, and someone inquires, after being told, or just knows I have twins to begin with. They may go, ‘Who is the other one with?’ Which I never thought twice about before, but when you think about it…Why do you care? Who are you anyway? (I’m talking in the case, of total strangers, if I told them Uncle Stan, would they know who I was referring to? NO, so why waste the breath?)
She told me she used to get so annoyed with people. I said, ‘Well, I would have said, ‘Yeah dad is babysitting his own child(ren). IF that is even possible. No, now that I think about it, it is NOT possible.’ Why not say, ‘I carried ’em, birthed ’em, if daddy can watch one, once in awhile, that is the very least, and I mean the very least, that he can do! What do you mean babysitting?
I could only see a man using such a term, because women should just know better, but she said she got it a lot. I say, The man better be doing SOMETHING, in all of this. That is all I know *Smile*.
If dad’s can be babysitters to their own kids, then when mommy has her own kids, and is watching them, we could call that babysitting to, which you would not ever call such a thing babysitting, when moms involved, right? So, I don’t get that.
It should be 50/50 and in my home, I make sure I get as close to that 50% as humanly possible:) (Even 60/40…ok, since you work. Blogging & full time parenting, is VERY hard work to).
I demand SOME help, unlike some of our own dad’s may have given our mothers (Times they have a changed), but of course, I’m empathetic to my husband when he’s tired, needs to sleep, etc.! You work it out…team work! (What’s your take on it?) My mom said, my dad never changed a diaper. That is pretty darn sad!
Anyhow, time escaped us, and before we knew it it was almost closing time, with a hour + ride still ahead of us, to get back home. Once we got into the car, the baby starts crying for a bottle. Wouldn’t you know, she refused it only a half an hour earlier. (Naturally!)
I was not going to sit in a parking lot, that was soon to be completely empty, with two children, and it was pitch dark outside at this time, but I couldn’t make her wait so long to get back home, so this became a test for the big sister, and I was very reluctant, because of ‘The past’.
She’s been very jealous of the girls, since the day they were born, and that has increased with their new abilities, so I was very nervous, but was very pleasantly surprised and shocked, when she started doing the job, and I looked back many times, and Annie was slurping on the bottle, Mikayla wasn’t pushing it into her face, or dropping it on her lap, and asking for the I phone to play with. Impressive!
She was really feeding her baby sister, and nicely, as I hunted for the expressway. It was touching, but would it last? I thought. I’d hate to have to pull over anywhere, in the dark, alone like this. That was something I did not want to have happen. and fortunately it did not.
She didn’t complain, it was incredible. Then she said ‘Mom… she’s asleep’, and I was so proud. Soon after Mikayla herself nodded off. My mom mind started wandering for a moment though. I thought for a brief moment, was the baby quiet for another reason. Don’t ask me why my mind went this way.
I feel guilty now for even having it cross my mind. I was just a bit floored she did that so nicely, and was like ‘What if…’ (Slappin’ myself silly right now over the momentary thought).
I don’t even know the true, ‘What if’, I was thinking, but it wasn’t good, so when I stopped at a light by the expressway ramp, and turned, I brushed my hand against her leg, and it moved. I felt awful for even having such a fleeting thought, what was wrong with me?
I guess after the crazy things she has said and done in the past, it wasn’t too insane to think about, but yet at the same time, it was. I smiled to myself, and continued on home.
When Mikayla awoke I gave her two thumbs up for a job well done, then changed it to 200 thumbs up, and said, ‘The twins are very lucky to have a big sister like you. You did a really great job, I’m proud of you! WAY TO GO!’.
You could tell, that really touched her deeply, and the day after, which was yesterday, she even helped me with a poo poo diaper, by throwing it into the trash, and usually she won’t let a poo poo baby near her bed, but she let me change one of the babies there, and threw out the poo for me, without asking, because she never has wanted to help, so I would never be one to force her, so it was really quite sweet.
Progress? I think so. She even picked out their bedtime clothing. I was quite impressed. I only hope that it lasts, but one day at a time, right? Maybe we are having a turnaround here! I sure do hope so.
As I conclude I go back to the title of this post….It seems as if my little Annie is happiest, when she is treated like a single baby, without having to share. I hope that changes, because I thought there was supposed to be such a unique and wonderful bond between twins, I have been waiting to see it, and that is a bit disappointing to me, even at this early of an age. It seems like it might go one way, (Allie to Annie), but not both. Hopefully that will change. ((Knock on wood!)).
Annie was licking her lips, so Mikayla gave her some licks of her ice cream, which was SO awesome of her:)
The icky aftermath, but boy, was that yummy!
Thanks for reading. I know it wasn’t the most interesting of post to read, but then again, life stories aren’t always interesting, or I’d be writing for a true life, soap opera, which used to be my life, but thankfully no more. (Not usually, anyhow.)
I find it much more peaceful being ‘Normal’, if only for a little while, say a week or two:)
Chow for now, moms & dads!