Married At First Sight Shocker & The Reality Behind This Reality Show And These Couples
Married At First Sight Shocker & The Reality Behind This Reality Show And These Couples
My little cuties are 5 years, 3 months, 2 weeks and 4 days old.
**Sorry I didn’t publish this by accident. It was written 2 days ago. Its been a very BUSY week 8-O.**
OK, 1st let me say I have been watching this show via DVR in the early morning since it began. I NEVER get sucked into shows of the moment anymore. (I never have the time to.) But this one I saw once this season and got hooked, taped it, watched it when the kids were sleeping. I have been following all along. If there were any former seasons I didn’t see any of them.
My two cents from the start is that marriage is damn hard for the best of couples. Add kids and it only makes it all the harder not the opposite, and these couples did not have any of these added pressures that some do going into or created during a marriage. They started out in a ‘good place’ as far as that is concerned. Nevertheless, it is a crazy thing to do – just insane! Marriage at 1st sight.. can you imagine doing this? I personally don’t think that the greatest of experts can ever force love. It just naturally happens and grows or it doesn’t, as I am watching right now in the 6 week update.
I sadly never predicted any of these couples to make it long haul. Did a couple of them ‘seemingly’ have a chance? Possibly. But 6 weeks should be just the start of the honeymoon phase, the happy times. Dealing with deep issues so early on, it makes it almost impossible to stand the absolute test of time. You’re not in love yet to help weather the storms together, which it does help make you and keep you strong. And also you are strangers who don’t know each other’s ins and outs yet which makes this all the more impossible to handle so much so fast. Love comes BEFORE marriage or else I believe it is doomed. (My opinion.) And it cannot be forced.
Maybe Ryan and Jacklyn will shock me, but I just never expected these couples to work out long-term, but it’s fun to watch and root them on of course.
I have a lot of experience in life and love, and what I have THOUGHT was true love before finally finding it, and in coming out of a long-term abusive relationship as well I think I’m a lot wiser in hindsight because of it. Keep in mind I haven’t watched the 6 month updates yet. That’s coming up this morning. I got up at 4 am to do that :-P. There may be some shockers for me there.
My thoughts on the couples and then we talk ‘shock value’.
Davina and Sean
This man clearly did not want to uproot his life and move to Manhattan, NY permanently. I knew this would be the downfall no matter what because it is huge! Davina sees this as a betrayal and lack of love, and yeah they just met, there is a lack of love vs. his home and profession.. all that he knows and loves. Leaving everything behind on a whim IS crazy. I see why he hesitated. He should have made that his ‘no-no deal breaker’ also, but he did not think hard enough about it prior. (Or he just expected to feel so much more. One or the other or both.)
I thought they both went to too many vulnerable and troubled places too quickly despite their 1st night of passion (kissing and such) that was only the 1st night. And though it seemed like maybe they had a great shot in this, and maybe most are surprised by their choice to divorce, I am not really as I watch this. They were matched up because of their similarities of past bullying, etc. and that isn’t always a good thing. Sometimes someone needs their complete and total opposite to help lift them up and keep them strong.
Initial attraction just isn’t enough.
I had a very damaged past – abuse, bullying, family dysfunction to name only a few, and my husband had the total opposite. I never expected him to fully understand any struggles I went through in life because he had a completely opposite family, school life, etc. etc. than I did. However, he has immense compassion for me. He has always listened, sometimes to me crying and sometimes to the same stories over and over again. He boosted me up and never left me out there. That is what Davina was looking for, but maybe Sean couldn’t accomplish this because he was/ is also damaged, and he just doesn’t know how to be that rock, that type of ‘try and read her mind that she is hurting and make it alright’ guy, which is fine, just not for Davina.
Sean needs someone who is stronger on the inside, not just on the exterior, to be there for him, and she needs exactly the same thing. Both having so much pain from the past that comes out in so many ways. It impossible to get passed. It stirs up so many insecurities that they both put up walls and safeguards that wouldn’t have otherwise been there had they been opposites on that front. I think that match was destined to fail. They may be able to relate to one another quite a lot, which means they may make good friends, but can they shoulder each other enough to make each other feel safe and secure 150% as is needed? No.
A match that was destined to fail.
Davina was set in her ways on some things, and she was very guarded in many ways. They weren’t consummating the marriage, which I get you want to be in love to have sex, and they are forcing it all upon you here, but I think it did mean something. Lack of intimacy, too many emotional walls to chip away at and the location thing, that’s a killer. Lack of time spent together also.
My man would move to the ends of the earth for me and then some, but would he have at 6 weeks or even less of our relationship? Um, highly doubtful. Neither was willing to compromise giving up their lives on a whim, which I understand completely. It’s not like they were together 6 years and KNEW it was forever. (Even at 6 years many relationships fail. Been there myself.) But it would be an easier choice to make. Their real lives still went on in the background as they did this show, and they clearly did not spend enough time together, intimately or otherwise. I wish them both luck in life and love. Sean is a great guy. Davina is a seemingly very independent woman, but you can tell she’s got some issues to contend with and was a bit harsh at times. That’s just my personal opinion.
Jacklyn & Ryan 1
When they started out I knew looks were going to matter to this woman, and when she had those feelings about Ryan I wasn’t surprised. First impressions and attractions mean something but by far not even close to EVERYTHING. Attraction absolutely can grow over time with the right person. Either you can become uglier to another human being or more handsome and attractive based on your personality. Love makes this grow immensely.
If they had thrown me at the alter with my husband when we just met, and we were just friends for some time. I was not at all physically attracted to him. He was not ‘my type’ if I had one really, he wasn’t it. But then, and I tell people I still don’t quite know how it happened that we came to become more than friends, but I totally am in love with everything about him. 14 years in I see no flaws, no things that would have made me feel the way Jacklyn did to start with. I did from the get go, but it just goes to show how right I am on this one. And it did happen on the show also which proved it. You have to get past the surface and give someone a chance. You’d be surprised how someone can become the most sexy person in the world to you once love flourishes and grows.
Jacklyn wasn’t very happy on her wedding day, but time changed this.
These couples tackle things that couples don’t tackle for years. That is a lot of pressure. But for Jacklyn to finally see the sexy side, the attractive side of her hubby was refreshing, and it just confirms what I am saying here.. attraction grows over time. Physically I was thinking to start that she’d have liked to have been paired up with Ryan #2, but I knew that personality wise it would never have worked out. Just as attraction can grow it is also not close to everything. You can be immensely physically attracted to somebody and it all fizzles out over time because it’s not what keeps a couple together for the long haul. I think out of all three couples these two started out with the worst chances and ended up with the best chances. I am not surprised by this at all. They do compliment each other well. Will they stay together? Like I said above my faith in such a thing being forced like this and succeeding is very low, but stranger things have happened. I’d say likely not, but you never do know.
Jessica & Ryan 2
Oh my God, and this is the shocker. I am watching the 6 week decisions right now. Seeing that and then having watched Nancy Grace last night about Jessica Castro’s restraining order, an emergency restraining order, which speaks volumes.. I’m like NOOOO… SAY DIVORCE!!! UGH! This girl was always so sweet, naive, desperate for love, and while yes she wasn’t a terrific communicator, he was not at ALL a good listener, so how could she feel comfortable enough to speak heart to heart along the way if he was being such a snobby, immature idiot?
Their attraction towards one another was clearly not enough to hold things together, and it never is, but did you expect this outcome 6+ months later? A restraining order and talk of threats and possibly more by Ryan De Nino towards Jessica Castro? I guess we’ll find out more shortly. I got to say I could see it potentially coming while watching the show. I wouldn’t say I knew it was coming, but the potential for possible abuse was there. You could see some red flags during the show with Ryan 2, and that was only 6 WEEKS with the man! Again, that is the honeymoon phase for couples, though I know they faced pressures well beyond normal couples, Ryan #2, he just clearly had a temper starting early on. He clearly wasn’t used to sharing himself and his space and his heart with others. Why he was on the show to begin with I do not know.
Leaving someone alone to cry because of what YOU have said or done IS emotional abuse.
If he was so close to his grandma and grandpa and wanted a love like theirs, they didn’t teach him very well. Or else he just wasn’t truly watching them because this man has some deep rooted issues that many of us already saw on the weekly show. Not listening to Jessica, leaving her to cry alone and seemingly not caring about it. (Been there – emotional abuse.) Being icy cold and even sometimes controlling already. That was scary to me to watch having been in an abusive relationship because these are how things start out and progress into true violence. Nobody just starts out punching you in the face. Domestic violence starts out with name calling, psychological hurt, and we saw some of that during air time alone. I was and I am certain that behind closed doors it was even worse.
I don’t blame Jess at all. She was always a sweetie who just wanted true love so badly that she put up with too much that she didn’t need to in order to try to have that dream come true. The thought of ‘maybe I can change him, help him, be better to him so he treats me better, make him love me, this is my fault’ these are all thoughts of a very naive and vulnerable person who is a HUGE target for what ended up transpiring.. an order of protection and fear for her life and potentially violence, but we’ll hear about it I know. Threats against her, her family, no.. that is NOT OK. I have been there to, and I am just glad she saw that and has backed away and did this before it was too late.
It was never Jessica from the get go.. IT WAS HIM! I thought he was a hottie at first sight, but he grew uglier and uglier as I watched his attitude, his rants, his erratic behavior, his lack of concern. This was definitely the start of something very unhealthy that could have turned into something extremely devastating, so I applaud Jess for her strength in getting the order and getting away from this guy sooner rather than later.
I’m proud of her and applaud her courage. I never had the guts. I thought and talked about getting an order of protection many times, but I was petrified of it. Of what would happen, of what he would do. I saw someone not far outside of my own circle, very close to my past, get murdered because of it later on after I was trying to get out of my own hell. Obviously, that only intensified my fears. This took a lot of strength by Jess.
For better or worse? Not in their case. Good for you Jess!
This is a very positive step for her, that she is away from this man and won’t tolerate whatever is going on, which everybody seems so great early on, and he couldn’t even be the ‘good guy’ for 6 weeks!!!! I can only imagine where things led, actually I don’t have to imagine, I have lived it. I hope she stays safe, emotionally well and keeps her self-esteem up. Thank God they don’t have any children. Break free and make a new start. You are beautiful Jess.. you deserve happiness not abuse. This is NOT your prince charming. IF you are somehow, someway reading this DO know that. And know that you made the absolute right choice. Only hindsight is 20/20. You will take away a lot from this, and I hope you do not ever let anybody emotionally harm you again. This guy is nobody’s prince charming, but I can tell only by TV alone that you are a princess who is worthy of love and happiness and everything you want in life. Never settle for ANYTHING less than the best. Your prince is out there.
Here’s a little message for Ryan 2… try finding a date after this one. You’re a dog, a liar, a manipulator, a control freak and a coward. Get some help pronto. Praying on meek women who you hope to control and make them tolerate you and your many flaws is a very ugly thing to do. I hope that other women will see these shows and steer far away from you and others like you. Abuse only escalates. I’m so glad that Jess realized her value, her true worth before she got in any deeper. Speak with someone now Ryan De Nino, and for the love of God stay single for a long, long time.
He was such a phoney! He couldn’t pretend to be a good guy for long.
I don’t know if it is possible for an abuser to get their heads on straight and learn how to be a real man, but if it is I am sure it is a very long process. Don’t subject others to your horrid ways until you are set straight, and even then I’d personally have one eye open at all times. I’m not sure if these people can honestly change. I haven’t personally seen it happen, but I do know that you cannot change anybody yourself – been there, tried that. It isn’t possible. And you have to want to change in order to be open for change. I think Ryan 2 is too arrogant to think he has a problem or is the problem anyway. UGH! Take care Jess and stay safe.
And now I will shut up and move on to the 6 month update recording.
I am curious to see how they turn out vs. the 6 week decisions. There might be some more shockers for me in there.
”I believe that love can’t be forced or created. I believe love is natural, pure, tride and true. It takes work and commitment, also sacrifice. But do I think destiny can be found by experts? No! I believe you have to find your destiny all on your own.” – Mama P.
Love and be loved true blue only friends!