Kiddie Academy: Handling Separation Anxiety When School Starts.

 

 

Kiddie Academy: Handling Separation Anxiety When School Starts.

2-28-2012

 

 

Toddlers and young children are still very needy, even though they may do some very ‘big girl’ or ‘big boy’ things now. They still both crave and require safety and normalcy in their daily environment.

 

A routine and structure makes them feel more confident and secure. But what about when they are going off to school for the very first time? This can be VERY difficult for a young child to handle.

 

I remember with my 6 year old, then 3, bringing her to preschool. She cried and made us feel so bad that rather then sticking with it, we gave it up quite quickly, (3 classes), and pulled her out until nursery school where it did get a bit easier. I just thought she clearly wasn’t ready. But it’s really important to prepare your toddlers young for some separation to make these transitions easier on you both.

 

It’s not just school, you may also find your toddler especially, clinging to you not to leave your front door without them. It’s important to work on an independent sense of self early on so that the transition to school life isn’t an impossibly hard one. Below are some ways you can handle separation anxiety and school.

 

 

1. Check out the school prior to it starting.

Let your child explore their new surroundings, their teacher, where they will be playing both inside and out. This helps make their 1st day less ‘shocking’ since they are somewhat familiar because of the visit. Most schools and teachers understand separation anxiety and will be happy to oblige. Meeting the teacher is an excellent thing to, as they will be a big part of your child’s school experience.

 

 

2. Make them excited about school.

Try and make the occasion a happy event by marking the start date off on the calendar and making it seem like an approaching holiday, rather then something to be dreaded. 

 

 

3. Talk to your child.

Even at 3 years old children can voice themselves quite well. At 4 and 5 even more so. Address your child’s fears, relate to them, share your own stories so that the child has something to relate to, as we have all been there before ourselves. Kids like to know they aren’t alone in their feelings, so addressing their concerns and keeping the lines of communication open with them, helps immensely. This goes for many things in life.

 

 

4. Play dates before school starts, if at all possible.

Kids always feel better when they know someone in their class. If you are lucky they just might if you come from a small town, but many kids are not that fortunate. So if it’s possible to meet up with another parent and child prior to school starting, and possibly have a play date, the transition will be easier because as they say there is always strength in numbers.

 

If you know your child is going to have a problem separating from you, really try and meet some children in his/her class and introduce them in a happy environment before the big day.

 

 

5. Saying good bye on the big day.

 I’m guilty of dragging out long good-byes, hovering about the school for as long as they would allow me.. (and then some). I see now this has been a mistake of a practice I shall not repeat with my twins. I just feel guilty and bad, especially if one of my children was obviously upset and shaken.

 

You have to be strong in this instance and resist the urge to stick around. What you think is helping him or her and you even, is just making things all the more difficult. As tough as it may be, a clean break is the best bet. A quick good-bye and parting for your child will be hard on you..yes, but better for the child you will see. DO NOT feel guilty.

 

Hug your child, reassure them quickly that you will be returning to pick them up at say 2:00, and leave the room as quickly as possible thereafter. You have to stay calm in order for them to also stay calm. Regardless of your feelings you got to smile and not look like you are about to bawl. The longer you drag out your good-byes the longer it will take your child to adjust to his or her new environment, and adjust to leaving you in general. Fight that strong urge to do it!

 

Hopefully, with these tips and a little bit of time, your child will have a happy, fun-filled, school experience.

 

This post was written on behalf of Kiddie Academy learning center. A leader in childhood education and child care. Visit their blog entitled Kiddie Academy Family Essentials for tons of great information for parents on childcare and parenting. It’s very informative, so do stop on by. 

 

 

I am currently working with Kiddie Academy to get the word out about their education-based childcare.  Their proprietary Life Essentials^® curriculum, supporting programs, methods, activities and techniques help prepare children for life.  Visit the KA Family Essentials blog for more.