Infant Ear Piercing. To Pierce Or Not To Pierce?? Quick Advice Welcome!
Ear Piercing Infants. The Great Debate. A Mother’s Pain!
15 wks. 6 days
To pierce or not to pierce? That is the question. UGH, I’m so conflicted on this topic, you have no idea. I am NOT worried, as some say, about them deciding when they are older for themselves, only because I was a girl once myself, and I know other women, who have children whom are girls to, and I have yet to meet any of us, or any of them, who didn’t want their ears pierced in the long run, whether it was done early on, or later in life, it seems that most every woman, wants to wear earring,. Scratch that every young girl, teenager, and woman, seems to want to have their ears pierced and wear earrings. It’s so enormously common in our society today, so I was pretty suprised to read so much controvery about it, as I did on other wbsites today.
I did not do so yet, on my almost 5 yr old, and she has asked for the past year and just now, I said, ok let’s do it, and at the same time as your sisters. I mean sounds easy enough right? The Dr. talked to me and said it’s perfectly safe now to do all 3 of them, the girls have had all of the appropriate shots, and they won’t remember this, doing it this young, so it’s best, yadda, yadda, here is most safe place to be for it, and this is true, it’s a perfect circumstance. Top rate pediatricians office, not a store in the mall, 2 Dr’s, doing their ears, both at one time. So to me, 1/2 as bad, as far as the pain is concerned. He made it sound like a breeze, so I said, sign them all up, and we’ll do it. Sounded great at the time, and how precious they’ll look right & no memory of it at all…except for mommy.
Now suddenly, I’m not so sure about all of this, and need some advice from you all, desperately!! Here is the deal. When I was 3, my mom took me to the mall and they pierced my one ear. I remember the sound of the gun go off, and in pain I leapt out of the chair, and ran off. It closed up and the following year, my mom re-pierced me, and did both ears with a needle and ice cube. I remember that, but do not remember any real pain from it. The gun thing scares me, and thinking of my babies, the biggest part of my world, my life, my heart walking outside of my body, in ANY pain at all, just breaks it into pieces, but then again, I realize, at this age, they remember NOTHING.
I often wished my mom had done mine when I was younger, and with my daughter, I guess I just put it off, put it off, put it off, until here we are, almost 5, and no ears pierced. She is actually looking forward to her appointment, and I DID tell her my story, and warn her of the pain, I don’t want her to think I betrayed her, or kept anything from her, in any way. I’m a super sensitive mommy, and person in general, but I’m sure in that moment, my daughter, at her age, will be able to endure, yet remember, her experience, but be happy with her new ear ‘jewelry’ (She’s such a girly girl, it’s not even funny). But now I’m faced with this question. Do I get all three pierced that day as I had planned, or do I bail out and wait, on my little ones?
I mean, if it was painless, I’d go for it, because I KNOW, when they are older, they will want their ears pierced, I don’t have to wonder about that, and it is good that it would be sort of like a part of them that was always there, so they won’t pull at it, tug, it won’t be foreign to them, if you know what I mean. I just cannot get myself around the part of watching my babies get ‘gunned’ like that. I don’t think my heart nor my stomach can handle it, if I already got a tummy ache because of my nerves, as this appt. is coming up very soon, only THINKING about it. I didn’t think too much about it at the time, but as soon as I did this morning, there went the tummy..starting to ache.
See, I’m the type of mom, who has to have someone else hold their child when they get their shots. I can’t handle it, it kills me. My husband steps up to the plate there, as I hide in the corner, I have even been known to walk out for that moment, or hide and close my eyes and ears, just to avoid seeing, or hearing, my child hurting, if just for a moment. Then I grab and comfort after the fact.
Also, I don’t know if subconsciously they maybe feel betrayed by me, like how could you hold me, and let them hurt me like that?’ I know logically that simply can’t be true, a baby can’t be mad at the person holding them during a shot, they know no better, but it doesn’t stop the thoughts from entering into my mind.
This time, it would be me putting them into a position of feeling pain, because we want to pierce their ears. I don’t think of the vaccines that they get, as optional. It’s a must do to us, so I know it has to be done, but the ears, the ears, don’t have to be done right now, and as cute as some babies do look in them, it isn’t that for me, it was more of just getting it out of the way, while they are young enough to not remember, and not bother with them, cause they seemingly have always been there, but I just cannot wrap myself around the pain aspect for them, and seeing them hurt from a decision we made for them, yet at the same time, I know in a year, I’d likely regret not having done it.
Woe is me, *sigh*. I read so much online, and most have had very positive experiences with early piercing, but there are a few moms who are dead set against it, but for reasons of letting them decide for themselves, but to me, I KNOW they will decide to, the question really is just WHEN.
I don’t believe I’m modifying their bodies, in a way that is negative, and they will look down upon me for. It isn’t a nose ring, it’s not a belly ring, a tattoo, it’s simply ears…millions of us have them, it’s a normal, every day thing, BUT unlike shots, this isn’t a health thing, it’s a cutsey thing, which is part of the problem with me as well. Can you tell I’m super confused and scared here?
My aunt actually had her baby BOY pierced at only 6 months old, now that is a whole other ball game. It’s not so common for a man to pierce their ears, much less a child, and I haven’t heard many 5 yr old boys ask for that request, so to me, I was a bit…ummm horrified by her, for doing that to him, because I’m sure he would not have chosen that for himself, and why would you want to do that anyway? People will definitely look at the mother funny, in that case for sure. Maybe she just liked the attention any way she could get it, good or bad, but I was young when that happened, maybe 12 or 13, and I wasn’t thinking too fondly about it, even at my own tender age.
When my boys were circumcised I cried for both of them. Just cried like a river, even though I didn’t have to be there with them, I felt their pain in my heart so bad, probably more then they felt, but at the same time, I felt in my heart, it was the best thing to do for them, and who wants THAT done as an adult? Nobody I know.
I know there is a tremendous amount of debate on the circumcision issue, and I won’t begin to jump into that, because I believe if the parents have their reasons, who am I to judge them, because I feel differently about it? I’m not one to judge, therefore I do not, I respect, any parent’s rights to ‘snip or not snip’, & to ‘Vaccinate or not vaccinate’, if that is what they TRULY want to do, but to me, I had to do it (the circumcision), and it pained me deeply, and I have no idea how much my little munchkin’s would feel from this, it does help that it’s a two in one shot deal (two ears at once, and by two Dr’s), I’m just really nervous about it. How long will their pain last? I feel like pulling out of this completely, and saying ‘Ok, how bout next month?’ But likely I’d stall again, and again, until they are the age of my Mikayla…HA, I could definitely see that happening. I’m such a mess…a complete and utter wuss 😥
Anyone have any opinions, advice, suggestions, or words of wisdom for me, while trying to quickly make this big decision?
Thanks so much, and I hope everybody is having a wonderful week & enjoying the beautiful weather, on this 1st day of Summer.
Chow for now….Shelly, signing off!