I Didn’t DOO It! One Silly, TMI, Twin Tale.
I Didn’t DOO It! One Silly, TMI, Twin Tale.
‘You’re a disgrace to our kind, man!’
So, there we are at dinner time, all sitting around the table, eating some yummy roast beef. The twinkies were finally playing nice & quiet, without the usual need to seat them next to us, and feed them extra scraps like two puppy dogs. This was nice getting in more then one bite for myself, without a lengthy pause. It’s been awhile.
This was too good to be true, huh? I kept my eye on Allie through the mesh of the baby gate. She was giggling at me as if she hadn’t seen me for days. She just had the cheesiest grin on her face. Then she’d look to her left, laugh, and look back at me. But where had little Annaliese gone? She had seemingly ducked out of sight, in an instant.
All I know is that while Allie would normally be crying to get into my arms, she was laughing and very contented, and I didn’t want to ruin that by stepping inside of ‘their fortress’ now, but curiosity is a mother’s love, and of course, I had to. Even though the area is protected, and quiet is good. Here it’s DAMN good, it also usually spells trouble. My mind started to wander, as I put down my fork and headed on over.
Annie is sitting there. Not far from Allie, just against the opposite wall from where my dinner seat was located. I saw something I didn’t recognize in her hand. Something brown. I thought it was one of Mikayla’s little toys that maybe in jealousy she threw into their lair to upset me, despite the possible dangers.
She knows not to, but right now with the whole birthday thing coming up, I wouldn’t put it passed her. As I got closer and saw those fangs grinning at me…that sweet yet villainous, vampire baby, was all a glow. I noticed it was something she was moving around in her hand, and was squashing. It wasn’t a toy at all.
‘Honey, did you eat a brownie in the living room again?’ He said, ‘No, I ran out of those yodel cakes days ago.’ I said ‘Well, Annie managed to find a piece of it’, as she proceeded to bring it up towards her face and mouth. Every lunge I took towards her, she turned and slid away from me, laughing and thinking it was a fun little game. Perhaps it was, but of course I’m concerned. I don’t want her to eat several day old cake, so I wanted to get it from her.
‘Seriously Shel.’ My husband continues. ‘I was REALLY careful about not dropping anything. Besides, I vacuumed today while you were out.’ Then Allie flew over, and basically shielded Annie from my view, as if protecting her twin which was sweet, and makes me think of all that is yet to come, (ei ei ei), but I needed to just get the cake out of her hand, and go and eat my dinner. Little did I know my appetite was about the be ruined.
Annie put the ‘cake’ to her lips, and I ask for hub to throw me a wash cloth, as I tackle her down. I wipe it off her hands, and a small dot off her face, and EWE gross…it wasn’t cake at all, it was poop! But from who? How? Why? Where? How disgusting? I jumped and she smiled at me, bearing her baby fangs as I yelled, ‘OH hubby…That’s not a brownie Annie had.’ In an instant 2 appetites ruined. Soon 3 then 4. (Apparently, not one very little appetite, who will quite obviously eat anything.)
Hub ran over, and the only thing we could think of was the dang dog must have somehow gotten through the gate and did her business on the rug in their room, which she is tiny but the gate really keeps her out. I have never seen her get through, unless someone leaves it open.
I was thinking, ‘Oh my God, the dog hasn’t had her Spring shots yet. All of the possible diseases she could get from her.’ ‘Should we get her into the doctor straight away tomorrow morning?’ This was just nasty! There was no smell anywhere, just a dog poop that had to be hidden quite well, that me and my husband were trying to track down. The babies seemed even more amused by our chase.
Then I caught her. I’d say red handed, but no, it was more like brown handed. That is right…My dainty little princess had stuck her own hand in her diaper, and pulled out her poopie for dessert. I absolutely wanted to vomit, while at the same time being very relieved it was not dog crap.
If only she would have smelled we would have known sooner, but I guess when you got a dog that still has an occassional accident, and could have wandered in there for a moment or two, while somebody went in or out, it was the most probable scenario to us. Now I know what Allie was laughing at, and likely thinking.
‘Look at Annie. The dirty, dirty twin. I’m sure to be the favorite now. Eat up girl, and make a mess, for I’ll be the twin they love the best.’ It was not a pretty picture that was painted at dinner time, especially with roast beef and heavy gravy on the table. I have learned two lessons here:
1) Don’t assume that babies are thinking along the same lines as we are, as far as what is right, proper, & edible.
2) Always check the diaper first, smell or no smell!
I think it’s time for Etiquette pre-pre-school, and tighter diapers.