Death Hits Extremely Close To Home. The Sad Reality Of Suicide.
Death Hits Extremely Close To Home. The Sad Reality Of Suicide.
This has nothing to do with the usual topics of conversation on my blog, and has everything to do with life and death, and the sanctity of life. I had a very sad experience yesterday. I was in the house and heard the dogs barking ferociously, didn’t know why. Several hours later police cars came with yellow tape and blocked off my next door neighbor’s house.
If you live in suburban New York, not far from the city, you know how close the houses actually are to one another. Quite close. Anyhow, turns out that a horrific act had occurred only hours prior. A young man inside the garage only 20-30 feet from my own, was hanging lifelessly from the rafters. He had committed suicide.
There was no one who could try and stop him now, to try and talk him out of it, and get him help that he very obviously needed. He was gone, and for hours he was still left there as the detectives and family came,10 police vehicles at least, and then the coroner to pronounce him. The babies hang out by the window all the time so it was impossible to stay away the whole while.
We are friends with those neighbors so of course we were concerned with the chaos happening as we didn’t know what had happened for awhile. Their two small daughters are great friends with our own. She plays over there all of the time. Luckily, the children were all in school at the time, but they did come home to the scene before it had been cleared .
I walked away from the window as I saw the family mourning on the front lawn and even in my own driveway. It was too horrific to watch or even begin to imagine. Plus, I did so out of respect. Then I heard a very loud scream that concerned me and I ran back. The mother pulled up and was literally dragged from the car into the backyard apparently to identify her son. I can’t even fathom it. I steered clear from then on and just thought about this mother’s pain all day long.
My husband had talked to one of the cops. It seems as though the older daughter had broken up with this young man, not even 18 years old yet, and he was so distraught he had gone there to end his life. I had seen the guy only days prior walking by my house. A nice looking young fellow. His whole life just in front of him. Now he’s gone and the lives of 2 entire families are changed forever.
Why do people snap like this? Why do they hurt so badly they feel they need to take their own lives? My ex used to threaten to do it all the time if I broke up with him. It kept me with him for a few extra years out of the guilt I felt, but he was still very much alive after all was said and done and we were finally over. Why did this young man actually go through with it?
1st of all, no one person on this Earth is worth drying for via suicide. Love can hurt, and I do mean hurt real badly, but the hurt eventually heals and you find somebody with whom you look back and say, ‘Wow, I never realized how wrong that person was for me. This is my destiny.’ Hard to believe at the time but it’s true. No problems in life are ever big enough to end your life over…NONE.
Money problems will eventually figure themselves out, work problems will resolve and become memories over time, family problems dissipate as people grow and change. Nothing is ever forever except death. I used to battle insane amounts of stress and anxiety, wondering why I was ever put on this planet and the thought of suicide, especially as a teen, must have went through my head thousands of times.
Bad things kept on happening to me and I sometimes still look back and don’t know how I had the courage to fight through them all, but I did. Trust me if I can so can anybody. My line always used to be..’I carry on because my life is like a book, and I need to stick around to see how the story ends.’ For me, I never could have predicted a happy ending, but a happy ending finally found me.
Yes, I may have waited a long time to get mine, but at this young man’s age my life couldn’t have been worse, but here I am now. 18 years from now here he could have been in the best place of his life, but now he’ll never have the chance. It’s incredibly sad. Also, what will this do to the 16 year old girl? I shutter to think! Poor kid.
I picked my daughter up from school and did not return her back home until a few hours later when everybody was gone. At her age I didn’t think she needed to see the events happening next door, though I’m sure she will eventually hear something about them.
Me and my husband offered to pick up the two younger daughters from the mom living inside the house that we know, but she said she wanted to pick them up and she returned them straight home, which I wouldn’t have ever personally done in such a horrible situation, but she did. I was then gone at that point.
If you are severely depressed or know someone that is.. please know the bad won’t last forever, or tell the person who is going through this the same. Lead them to this post if needed, or have them or yourself email me please at firstname.lastname@example.org . I’ve been through it all, and am willing to help out anybody who needs it.
There is much good in life waiting for you if only you’re patient, as change is always inevitable and it won’t always be bad change I assure you. Your life is a story that will have a different ending then you imagine it will have, and it will be a good one. You can personally hunt me down if I’m wrong, because I know that I’m not. Suicide is never the answer.
Startling statistics about suicide in teens and even younger children
(I find this so scary! I think all parents need to educate themselves, as me and my husband both were touched by someone having committed suicide before. Someone very close to us, before we met. It happens, and it happens more then you may think. They aren’t bad people, they are hurting people)
1) Contrary to what you hear and some believe, it is NOT true that if someone talks about suicide they will not commit it. In fact 4 out of 5 people who commit suicide have talked about it with somebody, or openly threatened it, so it should always be taken seriously.
2) If you have a high school student at home which I do, it is likely that 3 students in their class at any given time, have made suicide attempts in the past year. That is VERY frightening to think about.
3) Cyber bullying has increased suicide attempts and successes by alarming rates. Be aware of your child’s experiences in school, and what they are doing online. Talk to and befriend your tween or teen, at least partly.
Encourage your child to always feel comfortable being honest with you. I never usually encourage snooping, but if you feel there are things that may be harming your child, or your child might be harming others..I see an exception there.
4) Gay and lesbian teens and young adults are greatly at risk. 30% report at least one suicide attempt in the past year. Always be accepting and loving towards your child regardless of sexual preference. It may be a hard thing to swallow, but I know I wouldn’t love my child any less.
5) Teens are 9 times more likely to commit suicide then adults. You must know your child and see the signs.
6) Suicide can often follow an argument, break up, or confrontation of some sort, and usually happens inside of the teens home.
7) There are approximately 11.3 youth suicides every day in the United States alone. Every 2 hours and 7 minutes a teenager is lost to suicide.
8 ) In the past 60 years suicide rates for 15-24 year old males have quadrupled, and females have doubled.
9) In 2007 in the age group of 10-14 year olds…BABIES! 119 kids completed suicide making it the 4th leading cause of death for this age group.
10) Males are more likely to successfully commit suicide but females are more likely to attempt it. This is because usually males will go to lengths such as using firearms vs. a female who more likely would take pills or something that is often less lethal.
Parents should always keep..
1) Guns safely locked away if you feel you must possess them.
2) Prescription pills safely out of reach. My mom used to keep hers in a safe.
3) Liquor cabinets locked. Alcohol in teens can fuel depression and lead to erratic behavior that otherwise might not be.
4) Know your child as much as you possibly can.
There aren’t always big signs, but there are often subtle ones you may miss if you aren’t looking. Not always, but usually a hurting person will reach out for help in one form or another.
The better your repour with your child, the more you will know about them, as teens can be quite the enigma at times. I know this whole situation makes me hold my children a little tighter and want to be on top of them and in tune with them more then ever before.
Such a tragedy. Please pray for these two families forever affected by suicide. As a mother of a tragically lost child I feel their pain so much. May God grant them the peace in their hearts that they need to get through this difficult time.
No child is immune.
Thanks for reading friends.