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10 Responses to “Child Urinating In Odd Places: Very Personal Post. Help Is Needed!”


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  1. Hey Hon—try not to panic (although I totally “get” the discomfort with no knowing what is causing the behavior).

    To you PS’s, don’t feel like you need to psychoanalyze/explain…kids DO invariably come up with things that throw us the most unexpected curve balls.

    DO call your pediatrician (not a child psych) and explain this to him/her…my guess is that they will have insights and ideas of what might be done to “figure out” cause and how to calmly without condemnation change the behavior. Seems from the fact she’s doing it secretively (and lying to cover) that she’s got some embarrassment shame about it. Maybe it’s a sensory thing?

    One of our twins to this day “flaps” any type of string or ribbon a LOT while reading or admiring a drawing, Lego structure, etc. Not that I am comparing, but we still are unsure what exactly he “gets” from it—he’s not on the autism spectrum and can carry on a conversation while doing it…but he does occasionally as us to leave him alone and “let me flap!”

    Suppose there are parenting instances that few speak of on blogs, etc…and when they do, after the fact/support, they pull them down for their kids’ privacy…the way it should be! Talk to your ped…feel better and I hope you can get some answers! (and please remove our comment along with your post when you do remove it…for my son’s privacy!)

  2. Robin

    My 6 y/o daughter is doing the same thing. Im just as baffled as you are. Before becoming a mom, I was a foster parent and they told us children that feel like they have no control in their life will control their bodily functions and urinate, deficate, binge eat and starve because those are the things they can control. My daughter is spoiled. Have everything a child could want, went to disney world this year, has an extensive wardrobe and every toy you can imagine. My point being, I have a 1 y/o and 2 y/o, and a new husband. I wonder if this is jealousy because she’s not the baby anymore. Gonna talk to my psychiatrist.

  3. AJ

    Hi there. I can’t add much because I can’t really answer your question, but I do want to let you know that your child is not alone. I’m in my mid-twenties myself, and recall many instances as a child of urinating and even defecating in strange and abnormal places.

    To start with, I’d like to state that I too was a bright and intelligent child. Top of my class in every subject, and an absolute over-achiever. I had a lot of friends and was very popular. However, I was also incredibly shy, especially around strangers…. to the point where my mum actually almost had me go see a psychologist about it (she didn’t in the end). “Painfully shy”, she’s often told me. I had a great childhood, perfect in every way. We grew up in a hot climate; lots of outdoor activities. I was strong and fit and very active. I was also very creative, and had a wide range of talents and hobbies.

    I don’t know why your daughter has the issue she has, but I seem to remember my older sister telling me there was a monster in the toilet and it would suck me inside if I sat on it. I think my problem very much stemmed from there. I had a fear of toilets after she told me about that monster. I would urinate anywhere and everywhere apart from in a toilet bowl. It’s gross but I remember going in a drinking fountain by climbing up on it when nobody was looking; going under my parents’ bed during a game of hide-and-seek with my friends (my mum found out and I was incredibly embarrassed; she confronted me infront of my friends)… I remember going numerous times on a rug that was underneath our living room table. I think that was my favourite place to go, as I recall going there several times whereas everywhere else was very much a ‘one-off’. When my parents started to notice the stench in the rug, I blamed it on one of our friends who used to visit. They had to throw the rug out, of course. I even remember going on the carpetted area of our classroom, at school. I had to spend the rest of the day trying to hide the fact that my trousers were wet. During the drive home from school on one occasion I even remember undoing my seatbelt and crouching down between the seats and urinating on the floor of the car. Thankfully it was on one of those plastic foot mats and all my parents had to do was pull it out and get it cleaned. They never confronted me about it, but looking back they must have known it was me. I also remember defecating in the bushes outside my house. My mum noticed it a few hours later and confronted me about it and I tried to blame it on our pet cat. I remember the problem carried on until I was about 12 years old, which is old I know. By that age I wasn’t going in such random places, just mainly on the floor of my bedroom (carpetted). When my mum noticed the smell and confronted me, I was so embarrassed that I finally stopped. I finally realized enough was enough, and that there was no such thing as a toilet monster. I think by that age though, the problem was less to do with ‘monsters’ than it was to do with habit… a good reason to try to encourage your daughter to stop as soon as possible. I love my parents, but I don’t think they did enough to stop me when the problem first began. Thinking back to all the occasions, they only confronted me a couple of times, whereas they surely must have had their suspicions about plenty of other occurrences that had happened.

    I think my problem also stemmed from fears of hygeine. I remember for many years I could never actually sit on the toilet seat, instead I just hovered. I remember when I was about 9 years old we had some builders doing construction in our house, and the designated ‘kids bathroom’ in our house was handed over to them for the duration of the construction. I couldn’t handle the thought of those disgustingly sweaty unhygeinic men using the same toilet as me. Even once the construction was over and the toilet thoroughly cleaned, I could not bring myself to use that toilet ever again. No matter how clean it was, I couldn’t help but think of their dirt all over the seat. Thankfully we moved out about a year later. I also developed a fear of people hearing me go to the toilet, which sounds ridiculous. Not sure whether that had something to do with it as well.

    Anyway, I’m now in my mid-twenties, am fairly well-balanced and (dare I say) ‘ordinary’. I’m a police officer, leading a fairly successful life for somebody my age. The toilet problem I had as a kid I have thoroughly grown out of. I’m sure your daughter will too.

    I kinda resented my mum for confronting me in front of my friends, when I ‘went’ under the bed. I wish she’d done it in private. That was my one regret. It was good that she confronted me; I needed to know that it was not acceptable. And I also needed to know that she knew about the problem; that I wasn’t getting away with my secret. I enjoyed the feeling of doing something naughty and secretive and trying to cover my tracks and get away with it, but the moment I found out my mum knew, I was embarrassed and wanted to stop. So I would encourage you to confront your daughter, in a caring and loving way of course and not infront of other people(!).

    Anyway, just wanted to let you know that your daughter is not alone, and I’m sure there are plenty of other kids out there who do the same/have done the same, but are just too embarrassed to admit it/too taboo. I know you said your daughter isn’t, but I also want to add that I and my brothers were bed-wetters well in to our teenage years (I think I was 14 when I finally stopped). Especially taboo given the fact that we were so old before the problem ceased. But my mum says it’s genetic; she had the same problem. Something in our bladders doesn’t quite work right; when we sleep we urinate without knowing it and without being able to wake up or stop it. It’s something that we’ve all well and truly grown out of; it just took a little time that’s all. I’m open about my experiences because I know there are bound to be people out there struggling with the same things, and it’s always good to know that you’re not alone. Not sure if this had anything to do with my day-time urination habits however, as during the day I had full control of my bladder; it wasn’t as if I would just lose control suddenly. I do remember one embarrassing occurrence however – I had abstained from going to the toilet for three days (I think this was during the construction at our house). I was about 8 or 9 years old. I was walking home and I desperately needed the toilet. As I was nearing the house and crossing the street, my bladder suddenly scrunched up in excruciating pain. It couldn’t handle any more volume, and went in to ‘automatic release’ mode. I collapsed in to a squatting position as the floodgates opened. And I couldn’t stop it. It was one of those excruciatingly long urinations, that should wouldn’t stop. The worst bit though, was when I looked up mid-flow and saw I was right by a restaurant and there were people looking out at me through the windows. Oh, how I just wanted the ground to open up and swallow me! That was probably one of the most embarrassing moments of my life. But I laugh at it now, and it makes for an amusing ice-breaker story!

    Anyway, I’ve blathered on enough about my own childhood problems and memories. Just wanted to let you know that your daughter is not alone, and she will more than likely grow out of it. My advise to you would be to, like I say, not confront her infront of anybody, but to do it one-on-one and in a kind and nurturing way. Also, don’t leave it too late; don’t let it become an acceptable habit or a habit that she learns to lean on. Help her to understand as soon as possible that, even though she’s not alone, this isn’t acceptable and she needs to stop. Perhaps she can articulate why she’s doing it? I understand she’s very young. I remember when my mum confronted me after the bed incident, she didn’t ask me why I did it, just scorned me for doing it (not in a hot-tempered way, just told me it was wrong) and told me I had to clean it up. I’m sure if she’d asked me why (one-on-one and not infront of my friends), I may have admitted that it was because of a fear of the toilet monster. Perhaps then we could have taken steps together to prove that the toilet monster did not exist and that I had nothing to fear.

    Like I say, I’m sure she’ll grow out of it, it’s just a matter of when, and helping her grow out of it sooner rather than later. I visit to a paediatrician may indeed prove beneficial, as long as they’re not closed-minded or judgmental about the issue.
    I hope at least something I’ve shared will prove useful to you, and my prayer is that you, your daughter, and indeed your entire family can find peace and that the situation is resolved.

    Wishing you all the best, AJ.

  4. Shirley

    Today I found that my 6 year old granddaughter had urinated in her bed under her protection pad this is the third time that I have found something like this. My granddaughter would not be considered shy but she is gifted and sensitive with some stressful changes happening. I had a flash back to when I was a child and remembered being aware of doing something like this myself. I was painfully shy and when reflecting on this issue I believe there were some major changes that were causing friction and conflict between my parents. There is no doubt in my mind that it was a very stressful time for the caregivers in my life and although I was far too young to understand the complexities I was very stressed and somehow I was not 100% aware of my own body and what I was doing. When I realized what I had done I was surprised and made an attempt to cover it up. I have been advised that anxiety will cause many to have a need to pee and if the child is stressed and anxious it can almost happen on it’s own whilst in the anxious thought process. My Own childhood would have been considered average middle class. I will address this issue with my granddaughter gently and try to support and quide her through her stress’s giving her some tools she can use.

  5. Sunita

    My little girl, all of 8yrs old, urinated in a shop. I was quite stunned. She said this was the first time. and she had no idea that it was happening. Had no clue it had happened. What could it be? Stress?

  6. Twinpossible

    Fortunately, this habit has ended for us awhile ago. It was a short phase. Hopefully it will be one for you to. IDK…stress can cause almost anything, however, my little one was doing it during a playdate where she was clearly having a good time, so I can’t be sure. All I know is that I am glad it stopped, and hope it will for yours also. GL!

  7. Carrieg

    Although this is a bit late perhaps it can aid others. Honestly,and I am speaking from experience; it is a psychological problem. Some how the child has learned to use peeing as a coping skill and now the behavior is rewarding. Much like pavlov’s dog. The behavior can be unlearned however I really suggest going to a professional to find the cause. In my case I had been sexually assaulted as a child and somehow this was my coping skill. I saw the behavior again later on with a close friends child, like me that little girl was also assaulted. I AM NOT SAYING THE CHILD WAS ASSAULTED I am however saying the behavior IS there for a reason and ignoring it or not seeking help will never fix the problem. It is considered a form of Enuresis and is treatable with cognitive behavioral therapy! Good luck and I can only hope this helps someone.

  8. Twinpossible

    Thanks for your input Carrie. This may in fact help others in need of info. So while my daughter had done this a few times while younger, as this is an old post, it’s been a long, long time. This is not an issue for us, but I am going to keep it here for anybody who maybe is in this spot and needs some insight into the problem.


  9. Carol Hartman

    I am almost desparate with this topic because my grandson urinates in his room mainly in the toy box. We threw out his toys once due to grossiness and germ issues. When asked why he says I dont know. We had him clean most of it up the first time and he promised not to do it again. Well the room he uses when he comes over started smelling again and sure enough his toybox was full of urine. He is almost 8. He also wets the bed. I am very flustered with this

  10. Michael

    I was 8, or 9 and I remember defecating while being distracted by my video game, and I felt so embarrassed to tell my parents so I’d snuck my own feces under the bed, leaving it there until the rench became so apparent. My parents were displeased by me.. to this day, I’m still looking back and pondering why I didn’t just take a short moment to use the restroom as it is proper.
    I think me being just too preoccupied without even knowing my bladder was overloading might’ve been the case as it could’ve been with yours. I still look back at those times with guilt. My poor mother!

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