Bringing Your Twins Home: What Lies Ahead For You +2!
The Early Days At Home, With Your Multiple Blessings!
5.75 mo. Almost 1/2 yr.? *Cry*
Since I did a post on the twinsane emotions and happenings of a twin pregnancy, what about after your babies are born? How is life going to be, after those 8 or 9 months are over and done? Well, For awhile, life with twins, might take a little adjusting, not just for you, but for everyone, in your home. After all, it is a big change to your normal every day routine, and every change takes some getting used to.
Thankfully, my husband took some time off in the beginning, to help me out at night, so between us both, those first weeks at home, were not so terrible, because we worked as a team, and that is so important. He gave me 5 or 6 solid hrs. of sleep, and then I took over, and gave him the same, and sometimes we even got more, but I figured out for me, who was used to my solid 8 hrs of shut eye, That I could get away with 5 or 6, and function just fine. straight sleep is so much nicer then broken sleep, so working out these fine details with your partner, so you can get some rest is a BIG help, and key to making a happy mommy! Of course when you are breastfeeding, it makes things a bit harder, but you can always pump in the day time, and save your milk in bottles, for night time feedings only, so your husband can be part of the experience.
What I found most challenging, when for a lot of new parents #1 would be night time waking, was for me, the seemingly endless feeding of two babies. My arms literally felt like they were going to fall off of my body, and i got pains in my arm, shoulder, into my back from the strain, however, it you feed your twins the way I show you on my you tube videos, you should be able to ward off most of those aches and pains, do it simultaneously, it’s not hard, get yourself two great boppy pillows for the early months, and you will be just fine.
I personally, had this guilty feeling for awhile there, about feeding them at once, like I wasn’t giving them enough ME time alone, so I’d do that sometimes, (back to backs), and then fight myself to ‘Get over it’, I was being stupid, and fed them one after another, holding them both, for the entire feeding time, which is a long time at first. You are talking, in the very beginning, that’s about an hour 1/2 to sometimes two hours of feeding in a row, and then 3 hrs after the start we’d go again, so you guessed it. There were times of as little as a one hour break inbetween. I recommend fighting the urge, you can still bond, just feed them together. It’s better for everyone, trust me. Live & learn
They will eat A LOT, and it will be quite taxing on your body. Bond while feeding both babies, by takiing time out to stare into each babies’ eyes, talk with them as you feed, then go to the next and do the same, then back and forth again. You may feel like a robot in the beginning, between feedings, changes, burpies, and putting babies down for naps, but trust me, it gets less chaotic and more fun and amazing as you go. Different challenges will emerge, but you’ll defeat them, one battle at a time. It really isn’t as hard as you may set yourself up for it to be.
Learning to multi task is something that if you aren’t used to doing, which I was never the most organized (hardly), scheduled person in the world, by far, or the best multi-tasker, so one would think I’d have a FAR harder time then people who are, but surprisingly, God seems to put a fire in your butt, if you will, when you give birth to twins, and gives you this innate ability to battle tasks like never before, and take on what you never dreamed possible. I think it’s his gift to us when we get pregnant with twins or more. Patience, and some added sanity to boot.
Here are things you NEED to know when you have baby multiples:
#1) Ask for help when you need it. Even supermoms of multiples, need some down time. everybody does, don’t feel like you got to do it all, all of the time. get help when you need it, and if you used to enjoy a visit to the gym for a workout, or enjoyed playing a game of tennis, with a friend, or scrap booking, get someone to help you get a little time, for you to do what helps you vent, and then get back to life as you know it. Just a small break can help oodles. Even if at the beginning, the break is just long enough for a shower, and a quick makeup application (Which i thoroughly believe it DOES help, your emotional state of mind postpartum). Time out for mommy, is VERY important to.
#2) keep multiples on the same schedule as best you can. Feed them simultaneously, put them to bed at night at the same time. This will make things more like having a single baby, because especially in those early months, after their bellies are full, they will sleep, so you can have a couple hours in between to get other things done.
#3) Let the house go a little. It’s very taxing to be taking care of new twins, and battling all of your normal tasks like cooking and cleaning, at the same time. Don’t let things get disgusting of course, but allow certain tasks to go for awhile. Things that you can get away with leaving on the back burner, like vacuuming, and things such as that, you can surely do in the early days, and weeks. If you are one of the lucky ones who can afford help, via a cleaning lady, this certainly would be a perfect time and situation to hire one, even if just for once a week help.
#4) Join forces with your partner or spouse, working as a team, and appreciating each other’s parenting styles instead of criticizing them, offering help and time when it’s needed, support, and very importantly sleep, has got to be #1 biggest thing that you can do, to help make the transition with multiples into your family, a more easy & successful one. Teamwork, and love, will see you through anything, including raising multiples!
#5) Get out of the house. Staying cooped up for long periods of time, is no good for anybody’s mental health, and a happier mom, makes for happier children, so go out and brave the park in the sunny weather, or pack the babies up for a nice walk down the block, or take them window shopping at the mall (Not as brand new newborns, as they are susceptible to germs at places like the mall, just use your own discretion).
Anything that helps you stay in touch with the outside world around you, (Meaning things outside of your home that are familiar and normal to you), is where you need to be, if only for a short while. It’s extremely therapeutic. Fresh air is great for babies to, and sunshine lifts everybody’s spirits. It’s a known fact. Plus, walking is great for the postpartum figure as well.
#6) Be patient with yourself,and allow yourself (And your partner), to be imperfect! Whether motherhood is new to you, or you have done it 10 times before, it’s never an easy task and when you multiply that times two, or even 3, It’s easy to feel off the mark, and get into a slump, where you feel like you aren’t the best mom on the planet, and that’s ok, your babies are more lucky to have you then you know, and nobody is perfect. Know that these feelings are completely normal, and most every new parent gets them.
Step back, give yourself credit for the many daily tasks that you DO get accomplished, and know that there is no such thing as perfect. Stay in touch with who you are as a person, don’t allow yourself to get lost in the shuffle. The person inside that truly defines who you are, and if you notice a shift in your mood for the worse, that proceeds and doesn’t get better over the course of a day, then days, and maybe even weeks, you could be suffering from postpartum depression, which is more common with moms of multiples, so make sure you are aware of that, so if you do fall into this category, you can get the proper treatment needed. It’s not something you should just ignore. Watch for the signs.
A. Feelings of depression, sadness, emptiness, and despair, that won’t go away, and persists.
B. Appetite, and weight changes, in one direction or another. (Not normal postpartum weight loss)
C. Extreme fatigue, which may be hard to distinguish from the normal exhaustion that goes along with being a new mother. But a marked increase in fatigue, if you will.
D. Loss of pleasure in the activities and things you used to thoroughly enjoy.
E. Thoughts of taking your own life (suicide), in which case, call for help immediately.
Report any of these thoughts and feelings to your Doctor, who can assess you, and determine if you do have a case of postpartum depression. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, up to 10% of women will suffer from it, so it’s quite a common occurrence. Don’t suffer with these feelings reach out for help, and husbands if you see your wives struggling with what you think might be PDD, step in, and help her out, in not only the daily tasks and things contributing, but also in helping her to seek the help that she needs to deal with, and defeat the postpartum baby blues.
Basically, having newborn twins, is like having 1 baby, except doing everything twice, instead of only 1 time, and getting up at night, well if you follow my advice for feedings via my online videos, you should lose the problem of constant back to back night time feedings, and when they are eating together, it’s just like having one baby, in the beginning. You just need more hands to help carry them, and pack them up. A demanding singleton, for me, can be harder then twin babies. My last singleton was, so have faith, you may have already been through harder.
After a few months time passes, your babies personalities will grow, they will smile, coo, and start interacting more with you, and other members of your household, and that is when, you will really connect to your very beautiful, and very different, little children. Things at that point become less robotic, just tending to physical needs, and the emotional attachment of a child towards the parent, is finally shown, and it will be amazing for you. And as I have said before, what I found hardest in raising singleton babies has been the entertaining factor. Years I was sole entertainer, and it was like a seemingly 24-7 job, at least with twins, they will play together in time, and it will help you free up some time for you, to get something else accomplished. Maybe start your own blog about life with twins. Who knows? But when they do play with one another, and I’m thoroughly looking forward to it, the burden that’s been on you for these past months, will be lessened, as far as being the main attraction, morning, noon, and night. That doesn’t happen in the singleton world, so there’s an advantage.
Mothering is never an easy job, but it’s a rewarding one, and whether one baby or two or three, God never gives us what we cannot handle, so always remember that, and through each rocky stage, and phase, always remember these words ‘This to, shall pass’. There is a great song by Darius Rucker, which makes me cry each and every time i listen to it, because it’s so sad but so true, and it helps to remind me, through the tough times, it won’t be like this for long, and it won’t. I’ll put the link to the song in this post. Hopefully, it will encourage and touch others as it has me. It’s just an amazing, and touching, song.
It Won’t Be Like This For Long
It goes too fast, so cherish every moment!! ‘Till next time:) Double hugs & kisses! Shelly