An Unfair Life. 11wks! (Cancer Mentioned).
An Unfair Life
I’m so sick and sad right now. My uncle has been sick for awhile now. I haven’t seen him in over 8 yrs and we were best of pals before he moved across the country, to live in the drier air, due to his chronic cigarette smoking, and how that affected his daily life, just in breathing air, which we take for granted every day, yet for some reason, he’s been powerless to stop, or so he feels. I don’t know how a stupid white stick, can ruin so many lives, but I digress..
Last I saw him is when he first learned of some tiny spots on his lungs, (We had gone into Mexico and stupidly ate the food there, and he ended up sick as a dog in the hospital, and they found this as well, at that time), but he continued on smoking sadly, and now these years later, he’s on constant oxygen, has two forms of cancer, and has a death sentence looming over him. They don’t expect him to make it until 59 and let’s just say, he’s 58 right now, so, it’s very bad, I don’t deal with the ‘D’ word well, never have, but I also don’t deal well with the ‘G’ word either…GUILT. I manage to feel guilty over things that are in no way shape or form, my fault, but I do nonetheless, like I should have been there, I could have stopped him.
If something happens to him now, I guess it’s more like when, then if, and I didn’t get the chance to see him again, one last time at least, I would be extremely devastated. Nothing is holding me back but plain and simple money. I’m begging him to please come back here and let us take care of him. He’s the only relative of mine, that has always been real, genuine, and I always knew cared about me. The only one, and it was too short of a period of time. We had such great times though, and to think of him leaving me…leaving us, he hasn’t even gotten to see his nieces yet, I just can’t fathom it, and how guilty I’d feel over it, and over stupid money? I wish my parents would loan me some money to go, but they are tighter then…….welp, I got no pun that will go along with that one, that I feel comfortable sharing on here. *sigh*
I hope I can get there somehow, someway, or that he’ll come here. My mom says he can’t fly, I guess due to the air in the cabin, he’d have to drive..ugh, I just feel so sick over this today. Everyone I ever got close to, leaves me, and too soon. Needing a miracle right now Lord. Please send him one. All he’s guilty of, is making a poor choice, he doesn’t deserve to die over it.