A Memorable 1st Christmas, But Not In A Good Way. Terrible, But Memorable, Is More Like It!
A Memorable 1st Christmas, But Not In A Good Way. Terrible, But Memorable, Is More Like It!
The twins are 9 3/4 mo. old. I can’t believe it:(
Sorry it has been a little while since my last post. It was completely unintentional, but I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas Day, and are enjoying your holiday vacation still.
For me, this is the first time I’m able to sit upright for more then a few minutes, even though I still feel so spacey, and aloof. I hope this post will make some sense, because I am not allowing a 5th day to go by without a blog post from me.
Starting Christmas Eve, I didn”t feel quite right, but was just feeling tired, no signs of any ‘illness’ going on, but by the time Christmas morning came, I knew I was off. I was so tired even when I first woke up, I wanted nothing more but to drift off back to sleep for another 8 hours or 20. On the way to Christmas dinner which thankfully, I wasn’t driving to, or we would all have been killed, it became apparent, I wasn’t ‘All there.’
I must have fallen asleep about 15 times in the car, which may be normal for some, but I NEVER nap in the day, so it’s far from normal for me. Hub took a few pics of me withmy eyes rolled back and mouth ajar, which I could have killed him for that. Thank God he doesn’t Facebook, or use Twitter, but I digress.
At 1st like I said i was simply tired, so didn’t think much of it. Perhaps I needed more sleep the night before, who knew, so I was feeding the babies some of the food from my plate. In one moments time, I could no longer taste my food. Unfortunately this was about 3 minutes into dinner, so I didn’t taste too much, but it was so odd.
I never had my taste buds just come to a screeching halt like that, and without any cold symptoms yet…how weird? I then just in case, stopped feeding them with my spoon, and got them their own spoons. Things started to get all hazy, and everybody opening gifts became an absolute fog to me, and I wasn’t drinking, so that wasn’t the cause.
By the time we got home Christmas evening, the whole shebang started. The cough, the throat, the headache, the fever, massive chills, and sweats, the sinuses, the migraine, intense lethargy. I felt like somebody tripped me, knocking me on my ass, and there was simply no way for me to get up. I crawled into bed, and was asleep within minutes, the whole day of the twin’s first Christmas, seemed like nothing more then a hazy dream. How absolutely sad, knowing I could never get it back. 😥
What made it most sad, was that yesterday I wanted to at least see the photographs, as I took almost 1 GB. of them, which without any video, is A LOT of photos, to remember the occasion. That much I can do on my death bed to preserve a memory. Point and shoot….point and shot, no problem.
Point and shoot I did, but was extremely disappointed to see, that the beautiful new Sony camera that my dear husband gave me the night prior, vs. my usual cheapie, which I only wish I had brought. This $700 camera that should have been so much better, further ruined our occasion. 99% of the photos taken that day and evening, were completely blurry, unprintable, and unusable. My heart sank, I literally cried inside like a baby. Admittedly, a little on the outside to. (That ain’t easy.)
On the screen itself as I was taking the photos, you couldn’t tell things were so bad, though I questioned the hub a few times with a re-assuring ‘This camera takes the most amazing photos, and you can be an idiot and take perfect pictures. Just aim and click, they’ll be fine’.
All I wanted a cheer up as I pried my hide out of bed just long enough to see the pics and put a smile on my face, and what I found, it simply horrified me. This is just an occasion I can never get back, and simply devastated is the only words I can use to describe what I found on my memory card.
If I wasn’t so ill and the camera so far away from me, I might have just taken that thing and tossed it through the window, I was so angry. All I asked for was a cheap camera for Christmas. Anytime I have been given an expensive camera, SOMETHING always happens. They seem to break so much easier, are heavy, and bulky. Never, ever seem to take better photos.
It isn’t what I wanted, and so I’ll admit I felt angry at hubby, because if there was a certain way to use this camera, he certainly didn’t show me how, and when I said to him, ‘Why didn’t you say something? Look at these pictures?!’, and cried to him, his only excuse was, ‘I didn’t have my glasses.’
Smart lil hubby put his expensive prescription glasses on the car roof before we left and there went $500 in half an instant. How many of you ladies have put something expensive on the roof of your cars? I know I never have, but men, they just can’t seem to resist. Our truck you don’t need a key to open the door, so why I ask, did they end up there? No fumbling for the keys excuse.
The camera has a detachable flash, which is something I also don’t like, I just want to pull it out and take a picture anytime, anywhere. He said you never need the flash with this kind of camera, but in the orangey, blurred pics, I clearly beg to differ. I know he meant well, but in that instant, it didn’t matter.
Thank God I took pics with my usual camera the night before, but still, it wasn’t CHRISTMAS. Their very 1st one. Plus, I felt at death’s door for this important day, and couldn’t enjoy the actual day itself, and now no great pictures to boot. Do you think I’m overreacting being so upset about this? I still don’t think so, even as the sick cloud starts lifting.
This was my fantasy place for this camera.
Then we got blasted by a ton of snow. It literally creamed us. What better time to get snow then when you are trapped in with a bad flu anyway? Took me a while to even realize it was snowing, I was so darned sick. I’m actually thankful it snowed, because my husband called in sick to work 2 nights over it, and so he was able to hold down the fort, so I could rest, thank God, because I never felt so bloody awful since I was newly 6 years old, and nearly died from a severe case of Reyes Syndrome, which was deadly in most cases back then, and I seriously should not be here right now.
It felt so close to that in fact, and yes, nearly 30 years later, my mind took me right back there to that hospital bed and how I was feeling then, where I was burning up, feeling completely in a ‘stupor-like state- just feeling like the life was being drained out of my body, and thought to myself, ‘Oh my God, what if this is what I have again?’
Now, I have been sick countless times since then, and I mean sick, but have never felt quite the same way as I did 30 years ago until now, which scared the hell out of me, because even though I have avoided aspirin all these years, and have been an adult for quite some time, which makes the chances of getting Reyes syndrome quite rare, rarer then it was from the get go, I know it still is humanly possible to get it, and since I had it already I thought, maybe ever more possible for me? I’m unsure. THEN I also realized I had taken Excedrin for a migraine days before, and when I looked it up, indeed aspirin is an ingredient, so I panicked my tuchus off, quite literally.
It was Christmas Eve 1981 when i was rushed to the emergency room, after having an average flu bug that suddenly took a turn after my mom had given me aspirin for it. My temperature shot up to an extremely dangerous degree. 107.9 degrees fahrenheit, which back then, they had packed me in ice for, and expected at the very least for me to suffer some brain damage, which to some is debatable, ha ha, but seriously, (For the moment anyhow).
I always ran very high temperatures as a child, even as high as 106 during a regular flu, and continued to run high, until the age 16 when I had my tonsils taken out, and stopped getting sick so frequently. After that, for whatever reason, I never even went above 102, that I can remember, so even just going up to 104 yesterday after all these years had me simply terrified. Reyes syndrome doesn’t usually come with a high fever, but again being the rare bird that I was, I was fortunate enough to get a ‘could have been lethal on it’s own’, temperature to boot, along with an illness that should have left me dead, or at least with severe brain and liver damage.
I had every symptom that I did back then minus the vomiting, but wouldn’t have been surprised if that happened at any time, as I did feel nauseous. I still feel very queasy. Every year I have had the regular flu and this just felt so much worse, so how could I not worry? The doctors sat my parents down that Christmas eve and told them, I wasn’t going to live through the night, and prepared them for my demise.
I remember I was so out of it, and even at times hallucinating, and feeling the life in my body starting to slip away from me. They pumped my body full of meds, some that even affected me decades later, out of desperation of attempting to save my life. There didn’t seem to be much hope, as I started lose consciousness and have seizures, during the last stages.
The next day was Christmas morning. I remember Santa Claus coming into my hospital room, and bringing me Holly Hobbie color-forms, which I loved Holly Hobbie, and had gotten the oven months earlier for my birthday, after wanting one for a couple of years.
Does anybody remember this amazing contraption as a child? If so, you must be around my age.
I remember Santa flashing me a big smile, and putting his big white gloved hand on me head. When they came in to check me, it was a miraculous finding. The doctors were stumped. My super high fever had somehow broken. I was fully alert and reactive, and within the day, I was being discharged and returned home to my family, late Christmas.
It was truly a holiday miracle, but what made it most miraculous, is that despite several of my organs showing signs of failing the night prior, there turned out to be no lasting damage to any of them, including my brain which just with my super high fever alone, was miraculous! Santa was definitely my Christmas guardian angel, no doubt.
Two days ago, I swear I felt like I was in the same stupor, and when I slept I had horrible nightmares, (Also a symptom I vividly remember). I felt pains shooting me in the legs, neck, and back, that had my screeching ‘OUCH’, every moment that I was awake. My temperatures were rising past any norm. I have seen in decades, and if I started throwing up at all, I was going to the hospital for certain.
I contemplated going regardless, because as fearful as I am of hospitals, and hate them, that is how terrified I was. I couldn’t think straight, or communicate well, and my head was so high in the clouds, it was impossibly hard to pull back down to Earth and reattach it to my shoulders.
Of course then yesterday my husband and the babies started feeling the effects of the flu bug creep into them. This was a big reason I steered as clear from them as I could, when I realized what was happening, but too little too late. Me and hub had relations on Christmas Eve, so that is how he got it, and the babies were fed from my spoon, before I knew, that is how they got it, so my older two remain to this day (Knock on wood) unscathed by this awful bug, but for some reason, and thank God for it, it’s bad for them, no lie, but not as bad as it was for me, which I’m thankful for, because I can’t imagine a tiny baby feeling the way I had.
If it hadn’t have snowed, or if I was a single mom again, I can’t imagine what I would have done, so I have to give props to my husband there, for being an amazing daddy and husband, and seeing me through. I know watching 4 kids is NO easy task, especially with 2 sick babies in the mix, and then you start feeling badly yourself, which is why today, I start returning the favor, as I finally feel good enough to get myself into the shower. HORRAY!
I’m like the cleanest person when it comes to my body. I shower every day, but believe this one, I was so sick I didn’t leave the dress I came home with on Christmas night, just threw a robe over, until late last night. YUP, almost 72 hours in a dress without showering, or the ability to even change myself. THAT is sick! Yes, I am finally out of it now, and about to enjoy my 1st shower in days. That all just seemed like one long and hideous day to me. Sad it had to include Christmas. 😥
Ok, things never got THAT bad 😉
So, the girl’s first Christmas, and Christmas in general, was very disappointing this year, and far less magical then I expected, but it’s one we’ll always remember for sure. (Just not too well through pictures, unfortunately.) Hopefully, we can partially make up for that by having a great New Year’s, and taking great photographs then, but I’ll always be sad about it *Sigh*. Just throw some prayers my way that the babies get better quickly. They are still so tiny for this, and if they feel a fraction of as bad as I have felt, then that is way, way, too much.
All I keep asking myself is ….’Why the hell do we live in this crummy state in the first place? It’s over-priced, me and my husband both hate Winter, and that and Fall take up a large chunk of the year. Seriously, I’m moving to where the sun shines all year long. There may still be illness, but certainly nothing like these crazy New York winters. I hate ’em! Plus, people here, a lot of them just don’t give a damn, and go out sick, or take their kids out sick, without any concern for others. That makes me so mad! I must have gotten ill from last minute shopping. Next year it’s Amazon all the way, baby!
Anyways…..I’ll be back tomorrow. Sorry again for the absence, there was seriously, good reason, as you can see, or read, better put. Here are some pics of Christmas Eve, which thankfully I took quite a bit of, and the little ones opened their gifts that night, and the older ones got to have 5 each, because they got so many gifts, us parents need a little but of credit. I’m very glad we did it this way, especially with the camera situation. I’ll post a few that came out the best out of like 300 photos on the new camera, in tomorrow’s post. I don’t want too many pics to slow down the blog page. Sorry this turned out to be so painfully long.
Oops…Allie passed out early on for awhile, but then again….
So did Uncle Bobby (As usual.) We enjoy dressing him up:)
He’s a gift to all! (So that’s what I decided to make his head.)
Oh no, Daphne appears to have lost her head. Or maybe, she’s just camera shy to!
I hope our New Year is happy & well, as I hope yours is to!
Missed the boat this year. Maybe for New Years!
(Unless I get stricken with botulism by then…Who knows anymore?)
Always one flippin thing, after another. Till next time…